Girl to guy: Are you drunk yet?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, hurry up and get drunk so you can take advantage of me and my friends!
–Columbia University
Girl to guy: Are you drunk yet?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well, hurry up and get drunk so you can take advantage of me and my friends!
–Columbia University
Music nerd: I am soulmates with Bonnie Raitt and John Lennon.
Girl: Sure.
Music nerd: No, seriously. (pause) What's her birthday? I should send her a card or something.
–106th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mady P for publicity
Girl: I mean, they treat you so well…
Guy: Yeah, it's not like they're raping you.
–1st Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Erin
Girl in truly ridiculous dress: I am a strong, independent woman! I don't need a man in my life!
Friend: Amy*, you're wearing pink and ruffles.
–Lincoln Center
Short girl, trying to reach a shelf: John*, I need your height.
John*: I'm 6'2″.
–112th St & Central Park West
Girl: You're leaving?
Guy: Yeah, I have to go watch the game with my dealer.
–West Village
Funny-looking guy with crazy goatee & glasses to the sales assistant by the table full of butt plugs: I'm friendly with this woman… She likes things in her ass.
–Babeland, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lara
Girl: It felt so good. He then stuck his finger up my ass. Just as I was about to say "No! No!" I came. Ugh, I swear my life is a joke… A joke!
–Murray St & Greenwich
Overheard by: James
Guy talking way too loudly on cell: Man, I just lay her down and say, "baby, you put yo' tongue in daddy's ass!
–W 3rd & MacDougal
Overheard by: Mathieu
Guy on cell: Cus he'd already been to the emergency room, 'cus he stuck a shampoo bottle up his ass.
–L Train
Thug to girl in catsuit costume walking by: Man, I'd eat yesterday's breakfast out of that ass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Ed
Girl on cell: I don't need anything else. I've got 20 dollars, my phone, and a condom.
–11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Alex
Flamboyant boy on cell: Wait, where are you? What are you doing? Please tell me you'll wear a condom. (pause, then boy's face grows increasingly horrified) Several condoms.
–Dining Hall, NYU
Street vendor next to hot dog vendor: Get your Obama condoms! They go great with a pretzel!
–Times Square
Overheard by: not another tourist
15-year-old girl: Damn, nigga, I hope you flushed the condom, cuz they be using turkey basters for other shit now. They be taking the condom from the trash can and suck up the cum and put it in theyselves. I know, cuz I messed with a few niggaz who be telling me and I learn in sex ed!
–74 Bus, Staten Island
Girl #1: Did you hear about Stacey?
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She got pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh really? What kind is it?
–NYU
Girl: I normally go to planned parenthood for my STD tests.
Boy: Oh, no. I don't go to fancy places like that. I cart my ass to the projects for my tests.
–Water St & Wall St
Overheard by: Cheech
