Girl on cell: But they’re, like, professional crackwhores!
–Bedford Park, Lehman College, the Bronx
Man: I never misled my mother. I did steal from her, but I was on crack.
–Joralemon St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chicago Guy
Girl: Did you see that movie Crackheads on Fire?
–14th & 8th
Lady: Now she’s a big shot. She used to be a crackhead.
–Au Bon Pain, 8th St
Overheard by: the guy buying the SoBe Green Tea
Girl #1: James told me that Sara and Greg just got a dog together!
Girl #2: Oh my gawd, they’ve only been together for, like, two months!
Girl #1: I know! James asked me if I wanted to get a dog with him and I was like, “Hello, I’m not even ready to have an abortion with you yet, let alone get a dog!”
–Serafina restaurant
Overheard by: Appalled
Girl #1: I noticed his abs.
Girl #2: I noticed his ripped shirt.
Girl #3: Wait, so neither of you noticed his huge erection?
–F train
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl #1: That falafel was super good! What’s it made out of?
Girl #2: Chickpeas.
Girl #1: Oh. You mean, like, from chickens?
–East Village
Overheard by: S.
Girl #1: My mother is friends with tons of socialites.
Girl #2: Well my father fucked Madonna.
Girl #1: You win.
–6th & Bedford
Girl: Enjoy your party! Everyone here loves you!
Birthday boy: Ehh.
Girl: Everyone here loves alcohol!
Birthday boy: Better.
–Revival Bar, 15th & Irving
Guy: Dude, look at their Board of Health certificate on the wall there. It’s brown. No, it’s dirty!
Girl: Oh my God, that’s so filthy. What’s that on top there? [walks over] Jesus Christ, it’s a cockroach!
–Chinese restaurant, Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lunch Special
Girlfriend, to boyfriend walking out of the bathroom: Did you wash your hands? [Takes his hand] Ew! No, you didn’t!
Boyfriend: You put it in your mouth. I think I’ll be all right to touch it every once in awhile.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Clay Parrish
Girl #1: Yo, all these places are Greek. Owned by people who are Greek, ya know?
Girl #2: That means they’re from the Middle East, right? Like Yugoslavia and shit.
–28th & Steinway, Astoria
Overheard by: Gregorio
