Girl: How long since we broke up is it okay for my ex to start having sex?
Guy: Who broke up with who?
Girl: I broke up with him last week. He slept with four girls since.
Guy: I think if you broke up with him, it's okay for him.
Girl: Damn, cause I only slept with one guy since. But I did cheat on him with three guys, so we're even.
–21st St
Overheard by: learning something new everyday
Guy: I think this museum was designed by Frank Lloyd Webber.
Woman: The playwright?
Guy: This is not art. I’m asking for my money back.
–Guggenheim Museum
(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere
Guy #1: Yo, could you ever double team a girl?
Guy #2: Yes. Don’t care if there’s a naked dude right next to me, I’d rail the bitch with him. Eiffel Tower that shit.
Guy #3: Fuck that. I’d feel mad weird being naked next to another naked guy, just banging some girl… Maybe I could do it if I had my clothes on. Like, I could just fuck her through the fly. That way it wouldn’t be weird.
–East Village
Overheard by: Hiromi
Drunk girl to random sober guy: Bacon! My hands are like bacon!
Sober guy: What are you, drunk?
Drunk girl: Just very, very, very hungry.
Sober guy: Proceed.
–NYU
Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: A
Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let's go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?
–Union Square
Overheard by: serena
Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Elliot
Frantic crazy guy: I'm gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!
–6th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: tbomb
Suit on phone: Well that's life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.
–Train into Penn Station
Guy to whispering girl: What?
Girl #1: You don't wanna know.
Guy: Yeah, I do.
Girl #2: No, you don't.
Guy: I don't! Why do you whisper? Include me! I wanna know!
Girl #1: Fine. I'll tell you. (loudly) My uterus hurts!
–63rd Drive, Queens
Overheard by: Therese
Guy to friend: Go suck a dick!
Friend: I already did!
–91st & Columbus
Dude: Is this a petting zoo sort of thing?
Chick: No. It’s a dog park sort of thing.
–Union Square dog park
Overheard by: tanechka
