Female suit #1: You know how irritating it get?
Female suit #2: In what way?
Female suit #1: When it turns all red and hangs off to the side…
Female suit #2: Mine doesn't do that!
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Michael B
Female suit #1: You know how irritating it get?
Female suit #2: In what way?
Female suit #1: When it turns all red and hangs off to the side…
Female suit #2: Mine doesn't do that!
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Michael B
Girl #1: Her problem is she drinks too much sugared soda.
Girl #2: I have that problem. The thing about me is, I have a lot of gas. People say, “why do you drink all that soda?” and it's because I have to belch up all the gas. My cramps aren't even from cramps. They're from all that gas.
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.
–L Train
Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Sarah
Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Liz
Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.
–University Place & E 9th
20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.
–Wall & Pearl
Overheard by: traceface
Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!
–42nd St
Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!
–G Train
Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud
Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Student #1: I only have one sock on right now because the top of my right foot keeps itching like crazy.
Student #2, sarcastically: Ohmigod, you're so edgy!
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Chick: That guy ruined loofah-foreplay for an entire nation!
–113th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Crazy guy riding on bike: Girl, I would looove to see your bathwater!
–7th & W23rd
Suit on cell: She has a bit of an upset stomach cause we've given her, like, a ton of baths.
–Whole Foods, Houston St
Overheard by: Percival Under Cover
Andre-the-giant-looking guy walking by, on cell: I have to sponge-bath myself down there. It's ridiculous.
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: kosher dan
30-something suit: Some girls don't take showers… But that doesn't stop me from hittin' em.
–34th St
Overheard by: Kristen
Boy: Ew! Honey and ass!?
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Guy to friend: I felt like her eyes were going to eat my face.
–Bleecker & Charles
Overheard by: Jacob
40-something man to 20-something girl: I just wanna nibble your birthmark.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Guy against pillar: I'll suck your ass… If you want it.
–J Train
Man dressed in briefs, on Halloween, to policeman: I want you to arrest me! She didn't listen to me! I want you to arrest me right now!
–W 17th St
Overheard by: The Girl in Vintage Formal
Slightly buzzed 40-something man, in very loud hushed tone: I know your son is in jail! Isn't he?
–Mid-Manhattan Library
Man to another: They let him go because my daughter couldn't identify him. But now she got glasses.
–Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: Miss V
Agitated man, yelling into cell: I don't love you. I hate you. I did ten years and got seven felonies for you.
–Brooklyn
Girl to another: So I wrote "we're being kidnapped' on a piece of paper and pressed it against the window.
–Famous Famiglia, 111th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Lucy
High school girl: That nigga just got *out* of jail. That reminds me, I need to go to Bushwick.
–Grand St & Bushwick Ave
Overheard by: rpk
Man to girl and friend: Excuse me, excuse me, are you New Yorkers?
Jersey girl, annoyed: No, I'm from Jersey, what do you want?
Man: I'm promoting a spa on 5th Avenue where you can get very clean.
Jersey girl, annoyed: No, I like being dirty. Goodbye!
(man looks surprised)
Girl's friend: She wasn't coming on to you. She means actually dirty.
–Penn Station
Fat black chick to random guy, rubbing and grabbing crotch: Mmm, come here baby, I washed it for ya.
Random guy: No, I don't want any of that.
–Penn Station
