Hipster guy: Then, she sent me all these naked pictures of herself.
Hipster chick: So what did you do?
Hipster guy: Went to McDonald's. Big Macs clear my head.
–87th & Lexington
Hipster guy: Then, she sent me all these naked pictures of herself.
Hipster chick: So what did you do?
Hipster guy: Went to McDonald's. Big Macs clear my head.
–87th & Lexington
Hipster #1: They thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever done.
Hipster #2: The firemen?
Hipster #1: The girls.
–Lafayette & E 4th
Overheard by: Jon A.
White hipster teen, about basketball team: So are you guys good?
White hipster friend: Yeah, dude! I mean, we win against like black schools and shit. We just beat Brooklyn Friends last week.
White hipster teen: Dude, Brooklyn Friends is not a black school! Brooklyn Friends is a Quaker school!
–60th St & Amsterdam
Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.
Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…
–Prospect Park
Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: funny
Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!
–5 Train
Overheard by: E.J.
20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.
–1 Train
Student: A lot more people would definitely vote if there was free pizza at polling places.
–Queens College
Overheard by: Suze
Hipster: Papa John's makes me want to have Aids.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
Drunk person: Hey! This isn't the original Ray's!
–Ray's Pizza
Overheard by: Darwin
Girl to friend: So you only need a slice of pizza to get you wet?
–Slaughtered Lamb Pub
Overheard by: sinko
Old dude carrying blue plastic bag to pigeon: Pizza! My darling! Pizza! My pizza!
–9th St & 1st Ave
Hobo to passers-by: You need a dog! Don't eat the pizza, you will get fat!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lily
Hipster boy playing Big Buck Hunter: Yo, I should write a feminist critique of Big Buck Hunter.
Hipster girl: Wouldn't it just be, “fail”?
–The Turkey's Nest Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Kid Kyle
Suit: If Mark didn't fall asleep and get his photo taken with lemons on his head, he might still be here.
–Elevator, Midtown
Overheard by: It got even better when they elaborated
Sweater-clad hipster guy: I probably spend more per year on strawberries and cream than on my education. It's worth it, though. I value them more than my education.
–Starbucks, Brooklyn
Teenage girl: I don't want you to tell me there's a banana somewhere in there, I want to see the banana go in there!
–Church Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sonny
Girl to guy drinking juice: Eating mangoes makes vaginas taste better.
–Broadway & 9th St
Overheard by: Jessica
Irritated voice in choir loft, in the dark, at the end of Good Friday service: In all the excitement, I seem to have sat on my banana.
–60th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: haysoos
Man on cell: Did anybody give grandma her mango? You know that bitch flips shit if she don't get her mango!
–Central Park
Overheard by: queenofscots
Hipster queer #1: I brought you out here to tell you that I slept with your boyfriend last night.
Hipster queer #2: You are a bad bad friend.
Hipster queer #1: You've had worse.
Hipster queer #2: But not hairier.
Hipster queer #1: Would you like some gin?
Hipster queer #2: Obviously.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hairless
Drunk passerby to group of hipsters in front of him: All these fucking nerdy guys are with hot girls these days.
Female hipster: Oh, why thank you! He's gay, so it doesn't really matter anyway.
Drunk passerby: Oh, damn. He's gay…?
Male hipster: Yeah, but I'm a math major, so it was fair of you to call me nerdy.
–East Village
Hipster to texting friend: You get service on the train?
Cute girl: I get service everywhere…
(they stare at each other awkwardly)
–Uptown 1 Train
