Girl to homeless man #1: Here is my leftover food, if you want it.
Homeless man #1: Thanks.
Homeless man #2: You stupid bitch, why don't you just give him crack?
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Overheard by: SJP
Girl to homeless man #1: Here is my leftover food, if you want it.
Homeless man #1: Thanks.
Homeless man #2: You stupid bitch, why don't you just give him crack?
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Overheard by: SJP
Guy #1: You know how people say that if you give homeless people money, all they'll buy is drugs and alcohol?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Well, fuck, that's what I would buy!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Jazz
Headline by: bq
Runners-Up:
· “Behold, the Democratic Stimulus Plan!” – The Trayster
· “I Guess That Explains the Cardboard Box You Live In…” – Timmy
· “I Mean, After I Paid Off My Credit Card Debt, Of Course” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Michael Phelps Has an Epiphany” – JohnnyB
· “Mickey Rourke’s Comeback Was Short-Lived” – Sing it sister!
· “That’s Why You Don’t Have Full Access to Your Trust Fund” – Keith
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E
Guy: I can’t wait ’til I am finished with med school and I can start working as pediatric gynecologist.
–Class, W4th & Mercer
Girl watching another use eye drops: Do you need some help with that? I’m pre-med. I’m qualified.
–Butler Library bathroom, Columbia University
Overheard by: dr. getoffyourhighhorse
Girl patient: Oh my god. The cute doctor just took my urine sample. He walked over and asked me for it. God, it’s like, ‘I gave her my heart, she gave me… her urine sample.’ Should we give him my number?
–Beth Israel Medical Center
Chick on cell: Yeah, the doctor stuck his finger up my ass because I can’t shit… Yeah, it hurt. Any ideas I’ve entertained about anal sex are gone.
–12th Ave & Bay Ridge Pkwy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: What the…
Homeless guy: If you need a gyno doctor, my office is in the box around the corner.
–Lexington subway station
Charity rep. with big water bottle of money: Give so that homeless won't go hungry, even a dollar helps!
Homeless guy in wheelchair: Give me some of that money, I'm homeless.
Charity rep: Sorry, doesn't work like that.
–Times Square
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Gay man: I deserved it.
Hobo, jumping into the conversation: I deserve two dollars!
–East Village
CEO on phone: Fuck you! Just get me the things I need to make money.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Older man wearing yarmulke, screaming into cell: Hi! I think I left a check for $19,000 in the armoire, can you check if its there? (pause) Oh, good! I was so worried! I will deposit it tomorrow! (pause) Yeah! I'm going over the bridge! (pause) Okay? I gotta go! Bye!
–Q Train
Frustrated girl on cell: I've only got a metro card and $20! I can't take the bus!
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jesse D
Female student: My dad didn't pay two $200,000 for me to be a bartender.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Greg
Singing hobo: I work hard for the money, I work hard for the money, so you better work hard for me!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: DRC
Bursar office attendant: All we do is take yo money.
–Pratt Institute
Woman: Go panhandle in your own neighborhood!
Young panhandler: I don’t have a neighborhood.
–23rd & 8th, Chelsea
Overheard by: mike pratt
Man collecting change for homeless New Yorkers: Hey folks, you know we can't do it without you, and blah blah blah and yadda yadda yadda.
Passerby: (giggles)
Man collecting change: Oh, you heard that?
–Union Square
