Suit: Have you ever seen Conan in HD? His face looks like a scrotum.
–Maggie’s Place, E. 47th Street
Overheard by: Grimbil
Suit: Have you ever seen Conan in HD? His face looks like a scrotum.
–Maggie’s Place, E. 47th Street
Overheard by: Grimbil
Lady #1, pointing at imitation Cap'n Crunch: Get those, it's the same thing.
Lady #2: No, he won't eat those.
Lady #1: Well, then he's an asshole.
–Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Crazy guy: Look at you people. All y’all paying eighteen, nineteen hundred dollars rent. I pay two dollars rent! And I get a free transfer!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Heather
Smoking girl: I’m just not going to put all of this money and time into this degree and then take a job that pays less than $100,000 after I graduate. I mean, I’m just *not*.
–Outside Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Bored street fundraiser for the homeless: Just one penny, people. Just one penny. Blah, blah, blah.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Farley
Crazy guy: You motherfucking actors with all your fucking money and shit… I hate you… But boy did I want to be an actor when I was young.
–Outside NBC Studios, 49th & 6th
Overheard by: Ross
Frustrated booth operator, yelling at an argumentative tourist: Lady, this subway hasn’t used tokens in over seven years! And that ain’t even a token… It’s a one collar coin!
–Subway, Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYC Tourists Never Cease to Amaze Me
50-something ticket collector to high school girl: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your change. (pause) I will never forget you. (walks away)
–Metro-North Train
Mother to young daughter running down the street: Get over here before I make change outta that five dollar ass!
–168 & Broadway
Girl on date: If nothing else, I have morals!
Guy on date: You have dumbness.
–Local, 53rd & 2nd
Tween boy #1: Where is he? He owes me fucking ten dollars.
Tween boy #2: This is really gay.
Random girl: I’m offended, you retards!
–W 34th St
Girl: Dude, why are you holding a stick?
Guy: It's a wand. Fuck you.
–Bryant Park
Teen girl #1: Lauren! What is the name of the movie I saw that one time? You know — there was a guy in it. He had, um… hair? He was sad and stuff?
Lauren: Johnny Depp in Edward Scissorhands.
Teen girl #1: Yes! Exactly! Him! He was in another movie. I swear… Um… His hair was different, though, and he had that hat. We should rent that movie.
Lauren: The movie Secret Window will scare you. Your mind can’t take in something like that.
Teen girl #1: Hey! Well, yeah, maybe you’re right.
Teen girl #2, to Lauren: How can you ever tell what she’s talking about?!
Lauren: I can read the minds of idiots. It’s a sad and useless power. Except, of course, in cases like this.
–Central Park
Chick: Oh, God! You remember Anna from high school?
Guy: Yeah…
Chick: You know, the fuckin’ ugly one?
Guy: Yeah, she’s really nice.
Chick: I don’t fucking care — she is so fucking ugly! And I heard she’s married now.
Guy: Yeah? Really?
Chick: Who the fuck would fuck her?
Guy: … I did.
–F train
Hipster: Jesus! This place is worse than Austin seven years ago!
–Bedford St. Station, Williamsburg
Overheard by: K.
Large female southern tourist: It'd be really funny if we got stuck on the toilet and couldn't get up. It'd be the whole "help! Get me off this toilet!" thing.
–Bathroom, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Tourist woman to husband: Where's that cop who was here a minute ago? He gave me the wrong directions, and I wanna cuss him out for it!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Deeds
Tourist: Is this the building where people go all crazy about the numbers?
–Outside New York Stock Exchange
Overheard by: Kyle
50-something tourist husband to wife, while they share bites of same apple: I don't know why we came to this city… We can't even afford breakfast.
–34th & 7th
