Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore

Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Korky

20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H.

Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.

–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre

Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."

–Chambers St Subway Station

Overheard by: sarah

Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.

–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place

Overheard by: Any Britney Song

20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.

–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway

Posted on October 15, 2014
9 to 5-ers, About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fashionistas, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Store, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

…And Guess What Else Is This Big?

Skinny twink #1: I know that guy.
Skinny twink #2: You know her, that guy from the chorus, the concert-soloist, that guy who blew you at Splash, and now him! That makes the fifth person you've seen that you know, in less than an hour.
Skinny twink #1: Well, New York is this big! (holds up little finger)
Skinny twink #2: And you're a whore.

–Gay Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Eugene

Posted on October 11, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Skinny People

It's the Prospect of Going Home to Queens, Honey

Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?

–F Train

Overheard by: It looked painful.

Posted on October 11, 2014
Body Parts, Etiquette, Family Ties, Insults, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Weirdness

But the Pressure of Your Gaze Is Unwelcome

Thugette #1: I don’t care if Jake is smaller than him — I ain’t lettin’ him in my ass.
Thugette #2: You can cum from it. [Cool British guy turns to look at them as he passes.]Thugette #1: What you looking at?
Cool British guy: Would you really like me to answer that?
Thugette #1, sheepishly: No.

–Times Square

Posted on October 10, 2014
Backdoor, Foreigners, Ghetto Chicks, Insults, Times Square

Christians Really Shouldn't Complain About Muslims

Young guy, yelling: I don't give a fuck what you think, I'll play my music as loud as I want!
Old lady, yelling: Well, you do whatever you want, you just keep it away from me! I'm with the Lord. I've got the love of Christ in my heart, you fucking faggot!

–Brooklyn

Posted on October 8, 2014
Brooklyn, God, Guys, Insults, Love, Music, Old People, Wishes & desires, Women

Dammit, I Got Pictures, I Got Candy, I'm a Loveable Man

Random guy in car to four people trying to hail a cab: Hey, where are you going? I'll give you a lift.
Woman: Uh, no thanks.
Random guy: Really, anywhere you want to go, no problem.
Woman: We're fine. Thanks.
Random guy: Go fuck yourself! (zooms off)

–40th & Lexington

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on October 7, 2014
Guys, Harassment, Insults, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Women

The Dog Should've Tipped Me Off

Old lady walking with tiny dog, arm extended: Taxi! Taxi! Goddamn it! Taxi! We have to get out of here now! Taxi!
Nearby doorman: I'll hail you a cab, ma'am.
Old lady: You shut your dirty mouth!

–64th & York

Overheard by: Nora

Posted on October 7, 2014
Cars and Driving, Default, Insults, Men, Offers and requests, Old People, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

I Didn’t Ask for Facts, Either

Guy who just managed to squeeze onto the train: There no room here.
Girl trying to get on the train: I didn’t ask for no attitude.
Guy: You’re too fat.

–1 Train

Overheard by: DL

Posted on October 6, 2014
Comebacks, Default, Diet/Weight, Girls, Guys, Insults, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Public Transportation

…Since My Hand's Already on Your Ass.

Guy to friend: Are you gay, man?
Friend: I'm not fucking gay, I just want to hold your fucking hand!
Hobo: I'll hold your hand, buddy.

–2nd Ave & 11th St

Overheard by: Just wanted a milkshake…

Posted on October 4, 2014
Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Questions, Sexuality, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Want Angelina Jolie to Adopt Them

Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"

–Fulton St

Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!

–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn

Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.

–Downtown 2 Train

Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!

–10th & 53rd

Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.

–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria

Overheard by: Bryan Bruner

Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.

–Metro-North Rail Tracks

Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice

Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!

–Broadway

Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez

Posted on October 3, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Astoria, Babies, Black People, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Family Ties, Fat People, Friends, Girls, Guys, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, Penis, Poop, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Prison, Public Transportation, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Robbing the Cradle, Street, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Insults