Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.
–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Mom: Come here, put on your coat.
Little girl: I don’t wanna wear that stupid coat.
Mom: Hey, be nice. Be a good little girl. It’s cold as a bitch’s ass out here…you need your coat.
–Pierrepont Playground, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Kid #1: You don't wanna get a sample of ice cream? Well, that's cause you're gay!
Kid #2: Are you sure I'm gay?
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: TW
College intern hitting friend with magic wand: Naked Bitch with big titties.
Little kid: Is that a real magic wand?!
–FAO Schwartz
Little girl in stroller (screaming): Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair! Touch me hair!
Mother: Sweetie, please be quiet.
Little girl: Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: HMS
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
Boy #1: Hey mom, is…is chicken meat?
Boy #2: No, dumbass, it’s a fruit.
Mother: Hush now! I don’t want to hear that language!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Blake Wyatt
Hispanic mother: Do you want to take the classes in English or Spanish, sweetie?
Little girl: English!
Mother, disappointed: Oh. Well, I want you to take them in Spanish.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Fresca P.
Eight-year-old girl, singing: Fat lips, big lips, get your pregnant lips here!
–6 Train
Out-of-breath man on steps: Okay, man, breathe. Breathe like you're having your first child!
–W4 Subway
Overheard by: Keep Pushing On!
Pregnant woman on cell: So, yeah, I'm about 5 centimeters dilated, so I'm going to get a Tasti D-Lite and then go to the hospital.
–Rockefeller Center
Hot skinny, Asian girl to hot, skinny, blonde friends: So, am I going to get pregnant this month or what?
–57th & Park
Overheard by: would have liked to help her
Girl on phone: Okay, so I got the pregnancy test and the vodka. We'll see which one wins.
–6 Train
Mom: Honey, you better behave while you stay at Daddy’s house this weekend.
Five-year-old boy: If he doesn’t buy me a new toy, I’m going to slice his sausage open!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Ashley
Little girl, reading aloud: I went to Malibu. I was talking trash with Tom Collins.
Mom: Baby, I said I don’t want to hear your poem today!
–1 train, 137th St
