Kids

Four-year-old: I don't like you.
Angry mother: Well, that's fine, I don't like you very much either.
Four-year-old: That's mean.
Angry mother: That's life.

–Time Square

Overheard by: pluml

Two-year-old girl runs up to Indian Sikh with grey beard and purple turban.
Toddler: Santa! Look mommy, Santa! Hi Santa!
Mom: She … Likes your hat.

–Lillian’s Pizza, Forest Hills

Overheard by: Ethan

Four-year-old boy: I’m tired.
Serious mom: You can’t be tired. It’s Halloween.

–95th & 3rd

Overheard by: acep

Hispanic nanny: And you know how I have to make poo?
Excited toddler: Yeah!

–1st Ave & E Houston

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Eastern European in velour jumpsuit, approaching guy on street: Sup, cuz. Hey, remember to give it to Ricky tonight for that thing tomorrow. It's a good size. Alright, see you later.

–89th & 3rd

Overheard by: Ben A

Girl to friends: And then she was like, "yeah, let me look at you with my weirdly oversized eyeballs."

–Court St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: iwn2000

Female suit on phone: We need to get them! (pause) No! They're too big! They won't fit in the hole!

–Broadway

Guy: Masculinity is determined by the size of your (slight pause) army…

–Millennium High School

Little girl, carrying tiny stick: Look! I have the biggest stick in the world!

–Central Park

20-something girl to friend: I'm sorry, but what is the big fucking deal with eating on the sidewalk? Back courtyard? Sure. Rooftop? Fuck, yeah! But the fucking sidewalk? Homeless people up in my face. Loud trucks up in my ears. Carcinogens up in my lungs. I mean… really? New Yorkers are all fucked up.

–2nd Ave b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Dodd Loomis

Ditzy blond tourist: New York is the most foreign place in America I've ever been to!

–F Train

Overheard by: Chelsea S.

Indian guy on phone: I don't wanna be like the Bengali fob! I'm gonna show up and be like the original New York gangsta!

–B61 Bus

Bar customer to table next to him: I need to visit New York, everyone that visits is always happy. Everyone that lives here in New York is always miserable.

–Chambers St

Little boy, with great excitement: I just tripped in New York City!

–Times Square

Six-year-old boy: Can I pet your dog?
Hot girl: Sure, but she’s a little crazy.
Six-year-old boy: Ahhh, so is my sister [points to four-year-old]. Maybe they’re related!
Four-year-old sister: Grrr…

–14th & 7th

Overheard by: dan finnegan

Child: Daddy, can we get a dog?
Dad: No, they don't do anything. At least Sid and Nancy keep the mice away.

–Tribeca

Overheard by: jae

Young mom, picking daughter’s nose: I see something in there!
Little girl turns head an picks own nose: I’ll get it!
Young mom, going in again: Don’t pick your nose!

–A train

Overheard by: amused

Woman, picking up rubber ball, to employee: Oh, what can you do with this?

–Scholastic Store, Soho

Freshman girl: What do we, like, throw in the recycling bin?

–Leon M. Goldstein High School

Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman

Woman, descending stairs onto train platform: Oh my god! Is that a train?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: curious to know what else she was expecting to see at a train station…

Random tourist to young Asian kid: Do you sell fake bags?

–Canal Street Station

Astute shopper: Do you take Duane Reade cards here?

–Duane Reade

Overheard by: fellow customer

Guy on cell: Bagels with butter? Where am I gonna get that?

–Upper East Side

Overheard by: sarahjane