Black dude in deli, listening to Michael Jackson on radio: I can't hear another Michael Jackson song.
Arab guy behind counter: How old are you?
Black dude: 25.
Arab guy: See, I'm 37. When I was five, until 15, this was all that was playing.
(Billie Jean is now playing) “Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts!”
Black dude: Too late.
–Brooklyn
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
Gay guy #1 to girl: I only say these things to you because I'm your best friend.
Gay guy #2: Bitch! I'm her best friend!
Girl: Great. Now you guys are totally going to fight for me.
Gay guy #1: I will fuck him up right here. That's how much I love you.
–14th St & 9th Ave
Woman to male companion: I told you about that guy I accidentally slept with, right?
–Bar at Sushi Samba, 7th Ave
Overheard by: David Russo
Girl to friend: Because it is more than just, sexual, you know? (pause) Well, actually, it's not, but…
–14th b/w 6th & 7th
Man to woman: You know Mesopotamian sex? That's me.
–Washington Square Park
Man walking dog on cell: My number one conquest since coming here was a 21-year-old Native American.
–27th & Broadway
Girl on cell: Mom, how am I supposed to have sex on a bed that has wheels?
–15th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Steve Hofstetter
Guy: So I fucked her on a bench, but I didn't finish, because I kept telling her about my girlfriend and how much I love her. So she got pissed of and took a taxi home to her parents.
–5th Ave
40-something man: Just tell that landlord that you don't need no electricity or no cable because you gonna be makin' love all the damn time!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: tracey
Fat naked guy on cell in NYSC locker room: I'm just leaving the bank now.
–New York Sports Club
Girl on cell: Hello? Oh, hi mom. Yeah, yeah, it's really early here. Yeah, it's about two in the morning. Yeah, the Eiffel tower was beautiful. Yeah, right to the top. And then we had crepes, yeah.
–Columbia University
Guy at urinal: I'm walking toward baggage claim, where are you?
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Next urinal
Tweenybopper on phone: Hey, Xander? We're at my house. My mom says you and Corey can't come over. Sorry!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Grumpy old man, walking alone, on cell: I can't! I've got my grandson with me!
(pause) Bitch, why would I lie to you? (pause) Okay, love you too.
–Harlem
Girl #1: You should see Star Trek.
Girl #2: But I don't like Star Trek.
Girl #1: I didn't either at first, and now all I want is to fuck Captain Kirk.
Girl #2: That's ridiculous.
Girl #1: I'm not ashamed to love.
–Times Square
Overheard by: I'd Fuck Him Too
Gay, complaining about relationship: I'm so tired of this…do you think love lasts forever?
Girl, obviously frustrated about being single: Fuck it, Jaimie, the real question is whether it ever starts.
–H&M, NoHo
Overheard by: Yeah I'd like to know too
Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.
Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…
–Prospect Park
Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: funny
Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!
–5 Train
Overheard by: E.J.
20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.
–1 Train
Boyfriend: I wouldn't marry you. I would pay for half and give you a ride to the clinic.
Girlfriend: Baby, that's beer money. Just push me down the stairs and we'll go out.
Boyfriend: I love you.
–84th & 1st
Large, intimidating thug: So you think you're grown up, huh? You think you're a man?
Small boy: (nods)
Large, intimidating thug: Then why don't you get a job? Move out?
Small boy: Cause I love you!
Large, intimidating thug, more quietly: Well, I love you too.
–Downtown A Train
