…Once I Ran Out of Poop

Daughter: Mommy, mommy, that dress makes you look sixteen years younger!
[Later]Daughter: Mommy, if you were stranded in the desert without any water, what would you do?
Mother: [No response].
Daughter: [to little sister] I would eat my own blood.

Old Navy
Promenade Mall, California

Overheard by: Claustrophobic

Posted on January 10, 2020
Age and ageing, Beauty, California, Default, Family ties, Food, Geography, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Malls, Questions, Weirdness

Buy Me a Pony and I'll Throw in the Windshield

Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!

Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas

Overheard by: I love Mommy too

Posted on January 3, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Kids, Malls, Texas, Weirdness

I've Lost 10 Pounds Since I Started Sending Myself to Bed Without Supper!

Girl with blue hair, excitedly on cell: I love it when I inspire my own maternal instincts!

National Mall
Washington, DC

Posted on December 13, 2019
Feelings, Girls, Malls, On the phone, Parenting, Washington, DC

Now at Least Describe the Butts to Me, Winifred.

Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!

Mall
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…

Posted on September 29, 2019
Ass, Australia, Comebacks, Gripes, Malls, Old folks, Questions

For a Second I Thought You Were Talking About Our Key-Parties

Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…

JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky

Overheard by: Dohiyi

Posted on September 7, 2019
Default, Feelings, Girls, Kentucky, Kids, Malls, Moms, Questions, Words

Why “Family Vacation” Will Always Be an Oxymoron

Toddler to older sister: The pencil! Pencil! Look! (screaming) Looooook!
Teenage sister: That's the Washington Monument.
Toddler: Noooooo! It'll kill us! (sobbing uncontrollably) Kiiiillll! (continues sobbing)

National Mall
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meaggoo

Posted on April 6, 2019
Death & dying, Default, Fears, Kids, Malls, Murder, Siblings, Teens, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Why You're Not Supposed to Return to the Scene Of a Crime

Little girl to store employee: Do you remember us?
Employee: Yes, of course I do.
Little girl: Oh, no! Run away! He remembers us!

Mission Viejo Mall
Mission Viejo, California

Posted on February 17, 2019
California, Default, Employees, Girls, Kids, Malls, Memory lane, Offers and requests, Questions

The Best Part Is, They've Trademarked That Name

Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?

Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: DazedinPA

Posted on September 17, 2018
Baristas, Death & dying, Drinking & drunks, Happiness, Malls, Offers and requests, Pennsylvania, Words

Does It Make My Breasts Look Phoney?

Teen girl: Hey! This lip gloss matches my nipples! And my phone.

Galleria Mall
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Jo

Posted on July 19, 2018
Body parts, Cell phones, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Malls, Nevada, Nipples, Teens

…You Wanna Go to Build-a-Bear?

Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.

Rockaway Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts

Posted on June 23, 2018
Gym rats, Hipsters, Insults, Malls, New Jersey, Questions, Threats, Violence, Wishes

Malls