Middle-aged male: I knew a Rockette once -not on a real personal basis, but we knew each other.
Friend: Oh, really?
Middle-aged male: Yeah… Well anyway, she got hit by a bus. She’s doin’ alright now but I mean, she’s not a Rockette anymore.
–Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: alicia rose
Wife: It’s raining outside.
Husband: It isn’t. They’re playing storm sound effects.
Wife: I can see the street from here. It’s raining.
Husband: Why do you go out of your way to prove me wrong every single moment?
–Hilton Theatre Lobby
Very drunk, seemingly homeless man with cane (to entire car): Merry Christmas, happy Hannukah, everyone!
(everyone in car stares)
Drunk man: I’m not homeless, I’m just very drunk. I got a woman at home who ain’t got no job and I keep telling her, bitch, get outta my house and get a job!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Melissa Sills
Drunk man to friend carrying him: And she keeps making fun of my tiny dick, but then she keeps grabbing my ass. Can you explain that to me?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: John-Boy
Man to friend: Ya know I’ve touched both your dick and your brother’s dick… and his is much bigger.
–44th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: bigstoopit
20-something guy: I’ve just decided I need to quit dicking around and buy some q-tips.
–1 Train
Overheard by: drew
Guy, yelling: I did not put Peter’s dick in my mouth. I didn’t see it, I don’t even know what it looks like! None of us even came and it’s not important!
–Greenwich Ave
Obviously straight guy: For a million dollars. I’d suck the Jolly Green Giant’s dick, I don’t care if it did break my jaw.
–MacDougal St
(Guy wearing laminated sign bearing photo of the 9/11 commission report approaches shopper)
Signboard guy: Excuse me, are you a registered voter in New York?
Middle-aged man in suit: Yes.
Signboard guy: We are trying to gather signatures to have the 9/11 commission reopened.
Middle-aged man: You’re a fucking asshole from hell!
–Associated Store, 14th St & 1st Ave
Man #1: She bitched at me this morning because we haven’t had sex in over a week.
Man #2: They don’t understand that we can’t turn it on anytime they want it.
Man #1: Face it. We have to get gassed up, start the ignition and drive. All they have to do is open the garage door.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: John Strybos
Random woman: I’m a well known prostitute here in New York.
Random man: Oh really? You’re well-known around here?! Says who?!
Random woman: Ask anyone!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Paula
Elderly man: Looking at you brings a song to my head.
Elderly woman: Is it a song from Carousel?
Elderly man: Yes. (pause) I’m a good singer, I’ll sing it for you. (starts to sing).
–Post Office, Lexington & 3rd Ave
Woman, after knocking over and resetting a large display: Hey, was it set up like this before?
Man behind cash register, counting cash: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t even work here.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: pete
Woman: So, how is your relationship?
Man: Well, my relationship is kind of like cigarettes for you. It’s not so good for you but you kind of need something to put in your mouth.
–Caravan of Dreams, 6th St b/w 1st Ave & Ave A
Overheard by: Stoop
