[guy slips on snowy steps, falls down]Old man: Oh, are you okay?
[guy gets up, walks away]Old woman: If this were Dartmouth, they’d have salted this by now, you know.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Greg T
[guy slips on snowy steps, falls down]Old man: Oh, are you okay?
[guy gets up, walks away]Old woman: If this were Dartmouth, they’d have salted this by now, you know.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Greg T
Woman: Two words: bikini wax.
Man: No…no!
–80th & York
Man, as a woman screams: Bitch, don’t touch me! My wife is pregnant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jay
Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.
–Church Ave
Overheard by: Katie & Jaime
Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!
–Classon & DeKalb
Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story
Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.
–10th St & Stuyvesant
Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!
–Near Stuyvesant High
Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: amused priest
Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me something? Do I have a hickey on my neck? I have to go to a lunch and I just want to know if I have a hickey on my neck.
–SoHo
Overheard by: kim
Guy on cell: He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: gypsee
Drunk girl: If Bethany doesn't have legs, nobody has legs.
–1 Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Strange woman, seeing another woman massaging pressure points on friend's ear: She has a headache? It starts in the scrotum.
–M14D Bus
Man, missing stop: This is the problem with having a prostate that's bigger than your brain…you always forget to get off.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: She slept with Harry, and she didn't know he only had one hand, and afterward she still didn't know he only had one hand.
–Brother Jimmy's Restaurant
Overheard by: Joe
Man #1: I was cashing my check in Brighton Beach and this Russian dude almost hit my little brother. So I went and tapped on his window and you know the first thing I did?
Man #2: What’s that?
Man #1: I spit in his mouth. He opened up his mouth and got a mouthful of my spit. Then I started walking away and he got out of his car and was like 6ft 9, all basketball style.
–Nathan’s at Coney Island
Overheard by: Brad Benson
Cop on cell: Yeah, Adam just called. Are there bodies there?
–Outside Times Square Police Station
Overheard by: leah
Police officer on crowd control duty: If you was special, you'd get on the sidewalk. If you was my family, you'd get on the sidewalk.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Claire
Little boy to mother, after policeman walks by: Mom, it's the five-o!
–38th St, Astoria
Man: Yo, I was so twisted last night. I was in the cop car and he was like, "no drinking in the cop car!"
–Lexington & 75th
Overheard by: wb
Cop to victim: So the doors and windows were locked,no sign of forced entry…and you're sure that your panty drawer was rifled through and unknown items are missing?
–Bensonhurst
Man on street corner to overweight teen girl: Ooh, I like them healthy girls!
Overweight teen girl: I'm not healthy! I'm at high risk for diabetes!
–147th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Innocent By-stander
Man on bike: You see those boxes over there?
Freshman girl: The white ones?
Man on bike: Yeah, you see those?
Freshman girl: Yes. Those are white boxes.
Man on bike: And you see the truck over there? With the fridge in it?
Freshman girl: Yes.
Man on bike: Okay, just checking. I thought that's what they wanted us to think. (bikes away)
–Pratt Campus
Overheard by: Pratt student
Charity volunteer: Would you like to sponsor this child?
Grumpy man: I got three kids at home, and besides, I never even met this bastard!
–Broadway at City Hall
Overheard by: Darrin
