Man: Omigod! It is so cold! It’s so cold it’s like…It’s so cold I have nothing to compare it to!
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: Anthony
Man: Omigod! It is so cold! It’s so cold it’s like…It’s so cold I have nothing to compare it to!
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: Anthony
Man to woman: What are you eating there!?
Woman to man: Weight Watchers bagel, with Weight Watchers cream cheese and turkey bacon.
Man to woman: What are you, on the zone?
–Madison Ave & 46th St
Man in hard hat: My dog Sparky is still in the hospital. The doctor wants to neuter him.
Polite, uncomfortable woman: Really, that is too bad… Has he fathered puppies before?
Man in hard hat: No. But I am going to ship his testicles via FedEx to Iowa. It will cost $200 to freeze his sperm.
Polite, uncomfortable woman: Wow! Um… interesting. (then to friend, as man in hard hat walks away) It was so hard to keep a straight face!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Gigglerocks
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Man: I am not so sure about us getting married again.
Woman: But…
Man: When we were married the first time, you were in hospital for eight weeks and me's in jail two years.
Woman: Ha. Yeah.
Man: I am not so sure we should be getting married again.
Woman: True.
(both laugh)
–L Train
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Guy #1: You know it’s just a name the real estate agents came up with so they could raise the rents.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Red Hook.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: Becca McLean
[guy slips on snowy steps, falls down]Old man: Oh, are you okay?
[guy gets up, walks away]Old woman: If this were Dartmouth, they’d have salted this by now, you know.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Greg T
Woman: Two words: bikini wax.
Man: No…no!
–80th & York
Man, as a woman screams: Bitch, don’t touch me! My wife is pregnant!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jay
