Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Girl #1: When I’m older and I’m pregnant, I hope I’m standing when my water breaks cause I don’t want the baby to come down and, like, drown.
Girl #2: My Mom went down in a gutter with me.
–B44 bus
Young African American child pulling mother's hand: Ándale! Ándale!
African American mother: Cut that out! You're not Mexican!
–103 & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Alex
Little boy, seeing long line for movie tickets: I’m not waiting! This line is too long!
Mom: You have to learn to wait in lines… God, you complain more than a pregnant woman.
–Brooklyn
Squeaky blonde: When I feel like that after drinking too much I just totally stick my finger down my throat. I don't wake up with a hangover, and it saves calories too!
–Blarney Rock Pub
Overheard by: Ant928
Dumpy middle aged lady: I haven't lost any weight, but I'm still alive. So… I'm pretty proud of myself.
–Union Square
Girl: You should have to pay by the calorie. That'd make people less fat.
–Chipotle, Broadway
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Five-year-old boy to mom: Hey, mom, this energy drink has 10 calories less then the Monster drink!
–7-Eleven
Overheard by: CatVonD
NYU student: You know when you're on a diet, and you wash your face with apricot cleanser? It smells so good that you just want to, like, eat it!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: melbert
Teen girl: I’ve never figured out all those different deodorant smells. Why do you need deodorant with different smells?
Mother: Well, maybe someday you’ll have a boyfriend you’ll want to impress.
Teen girl: By having fruity armpits?
Mother: You never know, he might want to smell them.
–Union Square
Hipster mom: How much further are we going?
Five-year-old savant son: Well, it’s the weekend so the G train is making all the local F stops. That means six more stations from Hoyt-Schermerhorn — Jay Street-Borough Hall, Bergen Street, Carroll Street, Smith and Ninth Streets, Fourth Avenue and Seventh Avenue.
–G train
Overheard by: He even pronounced them correctly
Large black woman to another: So I said to him, "Muthafucka, don't you know a baby comes out of that shit? Ain't nothing you got down there gonna hurt me!"
–Fulton St
Old man with thick Russian accent: It is fresher than a baby's bottom!
–Ave M & E 16th, Brooklyn
Ghetto black guy on phone: Nah, I was locked up, but I'm out now, and she's tryin' to say it's my baby, but that shit ain't mine.
–Downtown 2 Train
Man on cell, passing adorable child playing with dog: I love fucking babies!
–10th & 53rd
Puerto Rican girl to pregnant friend: You feel like you have to poop, but that's just the baby.
–36th St & 34th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Bryan Bruner
Conductor: Ma'am, please step off the ramp platform and wait until it is safe. (pause) Miss, you're having a frickin' baby, get off the ramp! (she does) Thank you.
–Metro-North Rail Tracks
Overheard by: Theonlyonewhoseemedtonotice
Teenage mother to friends, running to catch subway: Last one gets the baby!
–Broadway
Overheard by: Francisco S. Ramírez
Mom: Shit, it's raining!
Four-year-old: Fuck!
–Times Square
Overheard by: leah
Four-year-old Asian boy: Is this train going to Jamaica Center? The same as e train?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: So they need to watch out for guns?
–F Train
