Teacher: So, in Gangs of New York, Amsterdam throws the bible into the river. What does this represent?
Student #1: He's rejecting his religion because he wants to get revenge.
Teacher: Right. The bible says…
Student #2: “You shall not get revenge”!
Teacher: I don't think that's actually what it says.
Student #2: Yeah, whatever… It could be the 11th commitment!
–St. Francis Prep, Queens
Little girl: I just don't understand why…
Dad: Look here: I'll give you the money for the tickets and you can buy the tickets for the movie!
Little girl, sounding less than enthused: Uh-huh. Timmy's five, like me, and he has a cell phone…
–Loews Movie Theater, Lincoln Square
Doo-wop busker: Hey man, anyone ever tell you that you look just like Wynton Marsalis?
Black guy who does actually look like Wynton Marsalis: Who?
White woman: Oh! Yeah, he does!
Doo-wop busker: Yeah, am I right? Wynton Marsalis, in the flesh.
Black guy: I don't even know who that is.
Doo-wop busker: Jazz trumpet, man. Genius.
White woman: He's a wonderful musician. You should look him up!
Black guy: Uh, sure. What was the name again?
Doo-wop busker: Wyn-ton. Mar-sa-lis. They ever make a movie of his life, you got it made.
–R Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Asian guy #1: I saw Mulan for the first time the other day.
Asian guy #2: Yeah?
Asian guy #1: Yeah, I didn't like it. There weren't enough Asians in it.
–7 Train
Drunk man #1: Oh my god, Lily Tomlin, man?
Drunk man #2: Yeah?
Drunk man #1: Yeah, really! Nine to Five? Awesome.
Drunk man #2: I didn't know.
Drunk man #1: Yeah, dude! She was in Blue Hawaii with Elvis.
Drunk man #2: I had no idea.
Drunk man #1: I wish I met her, man. She died right after she married Lou Reed.
–Grand Central Station
Cop to another: Are you drunk yet?
–Corner of 145th St
Frustrated-sounding NYU student to friend: Well, why don't you get a girl and you can just pretend she's drunk?
–Washington Square
Future rabbi: So my philosophy professor, Lenny Kravitz, told us we'll be drinking scotch in class tomorrow…
–4th & Broadway
Drunk black guy arguing on phone: Man, you need to stop drinkin'. Not only is yo speech gettin' slurred, but yo brains is gettin' slurred too!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Ashley
Dude to friend: I swear to god, every time he gets a little buzzed he thinks he's Austin Powers.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: thivnav
Thug #1 to thug #2, during showing of The Mist: Man, I would've just stayed inside the fuckin' supermarket.
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: I'd be eatin' all those Doritos an' shit.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Jojo
Overeager middle-aged guy: So, when are you guys going to show A Perfect Storm?
Snotty hipster barista: Uh… Never.
–Mudd Cafe, before 1950s Art Film Screening
Overheard by: Charles
Girl #1: Can you *believe* how rude that woman was?
Girl #2: Seriously, I mean, who does she think she is telling us to be quiet?
Girl #3: I know! I'm sorry, but if I had wanted to be *silent* I woulda gone to the movies by myself.
–Bathroom, AMC Loews Movie Theater
Overheard by: Tonya
Black thug #1, holding Indiana Jones dvd: Damn, son, look how young and fly and hip that nigga Harrison Ford was. That shit made his career, son!
Black thug #2: I dunno, man. I don't like a white dude with a whip.
–Best Buy
Overheard by: rob
