Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Guy: Hey, let’s go in there. They might have wine or beer.
Girl: Nah, I kinda wanna grab something hard.
–14th St, between 1st and 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Eve
Teen girl #1: You know, the Special Olympics?
Teen girl #2: Special Olympics?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, Olympics for the retarded people.
Teen girl #2: You mean the wheelchair people that fight with each other?
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: Alanna Higgins
Middle-aged suit to another: You definitely don't want to be on the streets with three miniature Dachshunds on the loose.
–46th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: alexander
Guy at dinner with friends: No, slapping her ass isn't perverted, it's just inappropriate. Perverted would be jerking off onto my dog's face or some shit.
–23rd & 10th
Overheard by: Matt
White gay man to another: Every time I see a dog chained to a parking meter and the owner is like in the store, it makes me want to call the NAACP.
–M7 Bus
Overheard by: HarlemAllDay
Ghetto woman on cell: A Maltese dog. A Maltese! (pause) One of them little dogs that don't never grow.
–27th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Katherine
Flamboyant gay man to couple pushing bulldog in stroller: Oh my god! Your dog ate your baby!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Sarah
Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]
–Park Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: …not very science-y
Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.
–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue
Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.
–Washington Square Park
Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.
–66th & Lexington
Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.
–28th & Park fruit stand
Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?
–Yankee Stadium bleachers
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.
–31st & 2nd
Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.
–outside The Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Josh Neufeld
Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.
–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd
Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Frat guy #1 (looking at produce at a Bodega): Dude, that's what I'm talking about, cooking some veggies.
Frat guy #2: Dude, veggies are the shit!
–22nd & 1st
Overheard by: Jessica
Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.
–Dumbo, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tanya
Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.
–64th & Amsterdam
Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.
–28th & Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Alie
Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?
–61st & Amsterdam
