Hey, Wednesday, Your One-Liner Is Showing!

Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.

–Uptown 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Columbia University

Posted on May 10, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kink, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Politics, Prostitution, Rack, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Executing Poop Joke in Three… Two… One…

Man #1: Isn’t your cousin a big producer or something?
Man #2: No, he’s a dog walker.

–25th & 3rd

Overheard by: Jon

Posted on May 4, 2019
Comebacks, Family Ties, Jobs & Careers, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

Preferably with Uprooted Oaks, although Maples Usually Get the Message Across

Young mom to disabled son: I do everything for you — I move trees for you, and then you fuck it up and I have to wale on you!

–24th & 2nd

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on March 28, 2019
Default, Gripes, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Violence

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.

–Wall St.

Overheard by: krazyhippie

Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!

–10th St & FDR

20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"

–Mercer & W 3rd

Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.

–171st St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.

–PATH Station

Overheard by: smjcnj

30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle

Posted on February 14, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drugs, Elevators, Fat People, Friends, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Insults, Internet, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, One-liners, Relationships, Street, The Village, Train Station, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

My Words Are a Well-Oiled Team

Friend: How are you not wasted?
Birthday dude: It’s one of my many talents — I can be drunk and still be cohesive.
Friend: You mean ‘coherent’?
Birthday dude: Fuck you.

–Black Bear Lodge

Posted on January 29, 2019
Drunks, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Words

We Don’t Serve That Here

Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?

–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd

Posted on January 23, 2019
Coffee, Customers, Idiots, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Starbucks

I Know. Wine and Beer Help Me Relax.

Guy: Hey, let’s go in there. They might have wine or beer.
Girl: Nah, I kinda wanna grab something hard.

–14th St, between 1st and 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Eve

Posted on September 6, 2018
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Street, Wishes & desires, Words

Don’t Forget Blind Hurdling

Teen girl #1: You know, the Special Olympics?
Teen girl #2: Special Olympics?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, Olympics for the retarded people.
Teen girl #2: You mean the wheelchair people that fight with each other?

–25th & 3rd

Overheard by: Alanna Higgins

Posted on August 28, 2018
Disabilities, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Stupidity, Teens

Wednesdsay Caniners

Middle-aged suit to another: You definitely don't want to be on the streets with three miniature Dachshunds on the loose.

–46th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: alexander

Guy at dinner with friends: No, slapping her ass isn't perverted, it's just inappropriate. Perverted would be jerking off onto my dog's face or some shit.

–23rd & 10th

Overheard by: Matt

White gay man to another: Every time I see a dog chained to a parking meter and the owner is like in the store, it makes me want to call the NAACP.

–M7 Bus

Overheard by: HarlemAllDay

Ghetto woman on cell: A Maltese dog. A Maltese! (pause) One of them little dogs that don't never grow.

–27th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Katherine

Flamboyant gay man to couple pushing bulldog in stroller: Oh my god! Your dog ate your baby!

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on June 25, 2018
Animals & Nature, Babies, Bitch-slap, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Bus

Then They Picked up Their Violins and Rode Off to Their Parents’ Dry Cleaners

Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]

–Park Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: …not very science-y

Posted on June 7, 2018
Asians, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Happiness, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Science, Weirdness, Words

Murray Hill and Gramercy