Who Let the Wednesday One-Liners Out?

Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!

–23rd & 8th

Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.

–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.

–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?

–West 4th Station

Posted on October 12, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Cops, Gay Man's Best Friend, Insults, Man's Best Friend, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Park Slope, Queer guys, Questions, The Village, Women, Words

“I can’t talk about this anymore. My brain is shot.”

Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?

–Diner, 22nd & 3rd

Posted on September 25, 2019
Girls, Guys, History & Geography, Idiots, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, Politics, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Licking Your Lips Doesn’t Count.

Girl: Have we ever said anything nice about anyone?
Guy: I said that stripper was hot last night.

–23rd & Park

Overheard by: melissa

Posted on September 21, 2019
Compliments, Friends, Murray Hill and Gramercy

Then Why Are the Ghostbusters Riding in It, Smart Guy?

Young tourist woman to boyfriend: Is that the Statue of Liberty?
Boyfriend: Umm…no. That would be the Empire State Building.

–30th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Marie Ziskin

Posted on September 9, 2019
Boyfriends, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYC Geography, Statue of Liberty, Tourism, Tourists

Wednesday Hold-on-There's-Someone-on-the-Other-Liners

60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.

–B4 Bus

Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova

Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!

–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.

–Bus

Overheard by: liz

Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!

–Food Stamp Office, 14th St

Overheard by: Erica Schreiner

African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.

–30th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: mike v

Posted on August 27, 2019
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Bus, Cell Phone, Family Ties, Fitness, Guys, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Office, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Retards & Handicaps, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Hey, Wednesday, Your One-Liner Is Showing!

Middle-aged woman, angrily on cell: You tell him to go outside right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sudden there's a naked man! Like, this doesn't translate well visually.

–Uptown 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Topless anarchy is still anarchy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Columbia University

Posted on May 10, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Guys, Kink, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Politics, Prostitution, Rack, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Executing Poop Joke in Three… Two… One…

Man #1: Isn’t your cousin a big producer or something?
Man #2: No, he’s a dog walker.

–25th & 3rd

Overheard by: Jon

Posted on May 4, 2019
Comebacks, Family Ties, Jobs & Careers, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

Preferably with Uprooted Oaks, although Maples Usually Get the Message Across

Young mom to disabled son: I do everything for you — I move trees for you, and then you fuck it up and I have to wale on you!

–24th & 2nd

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Posted on March 28, 2019
Default, Gripes, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Violence

Wednesday One-Liners Wish They Could DVR Their Lives, Instead

Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.

–Wall St.

Overheard by: krazyhippie

Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!

–10th St & FDR

20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.

–W 19th & 5th Ave

Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"

–Mercer & W 3rd

Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.

–171st St & Broadway

Overheard by: The Low Hat

Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.

–PATH Station

Overheard by: smjcnj

30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: The Evil Triangle