Guy #1: Damn that girl is fine. I’d give my left nut to get her a night.
Guy #2: Dude, why your left nut?
Guy #1: Because it’s attached directly to your heart.
Guy #2: Oh my god, what bio class have you been taking?
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Kiuu SMith
Girl on computer #10: Damn, this dumb bitch wants to start her own prostituting company.
Girl on computer #9: What a dumb bitch.
–Library, Baruch College
Overheard by: jackieisawuesome
Woman #1: I heard your son started going to my son’s doctor.
Woman #2: Yeah, he has a great bedside manner… And he has a handlebar mustache, too, haha.
Woman #1: Yeah, so does my gyno.
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jeffrey G.
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
Mom pushing stroller: … And how do you spell ‘Loch Ness’?
Four-year-old boy: L, um… L-O, um… um… L-O-C-H-N-E-S-S
–17th St & Irving Pl
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!
–23rd & 8th
Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.
–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?
–West 4th Station
Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?
–Diner, 22nd & 3rd
Girl: Have we ever said anything nice about anyone?
Guy: I said that stripper was hot last night.
–23rd & Park
Overheard by: melissa
Young tourist woman to boyfriend: Is that the Statue of Liberty?
Boyfriend: Umm…no. That would be the Empire State Building.
–30th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
