Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]
–Park Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: …not very science-y
Asian nerd #1: Neutrons!
Asian nerd #2: … Subatomic particles!
Asian nerd #3: Velocity times speed equals… Power! [all start cheering and high-fiving one another.]
–Park Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: …not very science-y
Russian lady: She loves to travel. Like some people alcoholics? She
loves to travel.
–Funayama, Greenwich Avenue
Guy on cell: Hey Maria? It’s John…from Biology…Oh, you can’t talk? OK. I love you. Bye.
–Washington Square Park
Euro chick: No silly, American football is like a girly version of rugby, they have rules and pads.
–66th & Lexington
Man: Look at all these little bananas! I don’t want none a these. These little bananas are for ladies.
–28th & Park fruit stand
Woman: You think that the players look at their butts in the mirror to see what we see?
–Yankee Stadium bleachers
Overheard by: Aryeh Jasper
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills.
–31st & 2nd
Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee.
–outside The Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: Josh Neufeld
Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped.
–Vertigo, 26th & 3rd
Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella.
–Delancey & Allen
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Frat guy #1 (looking at produce at a Bodega): Dude, that's what I'm talking about, cooking some veggies.
Frat guy #2: Dude, veggies are the shit!
–22nd & 1st
Overheard by: Jessica
Old Jewish woman to very nervous Asian 25-year-old bride to be: Honey, I've been married 53 years. The secret to a great marriage? Give him lots of sex. Lots of good sex.
–Dumbo, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tanya
Man on cell: I told her I would convert. We could go to Vegas and get married next week, no problem.
–64th & Amsterdam
Woman on phone: My ex-boyfriend was 24 and he was able to support me, and you're 35 on an engineer's salary and you can't do the same. Do you know how many guys are begging to marry me, and can give me a dowry? So fuck you!
–Target Store, Brooklyn
Hispanic woman on phone: So where are you now? You already married him? Oh, okay. See you later.
–28th & Park Avenue South
Overheard by: Alie
Five-year-old boy to teacher about five-year-old girl next to him: We're going to get married. (to five-year-old girl) What's your name again?
–61st & Amsterdam
Hobo: Hey man, it’s not raining. It’s just your imagination.
–36th & 5th
Overheard by: Q-Bert
Little boy #1: Nudists are rich!
Little boy #2: Really? Why?
Little boy #1: They don’t have to buy clothes!
–17th & 3rd
Obnoxious NYU student on phone: Hey, remember that cute boy in my chemistry class I was telling you about? Well, I totally just saw him in a gay porno!
–Study Room, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: NYU Ears
Patient woman: She's making friends with an old porn star, leave her alone!
–2nd Ave b/w 50th & 51st
Overheard by: sab
Cranky suit to nodding friend: Except for porn and eBay, no one knows how to make money anymore!
–Madison Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: kricka
Girl to friend: This would be a great place to shoot a porno.
–Downstairs Bar, Morimoto Restaurant
iPhone screamer: Yeah, just take the exec-u-table file and put it in the folder. Right the exec-u-table file! I know, the music is funny, like a porno, right?
–33rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Chick: You *know* we're all going to be googling "eggbeater porn" before the night is over.
–Party, 171st & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Guy to female friend: There's a guy in the Howard Street festival that ejaculates like 20 feet.
–E 3rd St & 1st Ave
Guy: The world is my cumrag!
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jordan Bruce
Woman on cell: Yeah, it was great. We managed to buy enough sperm for three kids.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Intoxicated college boy to friend: I don't want to jism on a girl's back…yet.
–Times Square
Overheard by: watching her back
Suit getting off train, turning around and yelling: Was it semen? (waves goodbye)
–1 Train
Overheard by: hsw
