(little boy has a Hot Wheels car and he's rolling it all over everything around him)
Boy: Mom, can I roll it on your head?
Mom: No, you'll mess up my hair.
Boy: Your arms?
Mom: Yeah, sure.
Boy: Your chest?
Mom: No, that's not appropriate.
Boy: Okay…your nipples?
Mom: That's definitely not appropriate.
Boy (disappointed): Aaww…
–6 Train
Overheard by: 1-800-mattres
Girl #1: Oh my God, we are all wearing the same shirts!
Girl #2: We are all in the volleyball team.
Girl #3: Shut up.
–L train
Overheard by: Karen
Chick: I wish it would snow so I could make a Kate Moss joke.
–F train
Dorky black kid #1: Dude, I’m a rebel.
Dorky black kid #2: Like James Dean?
Dorky black kid #3: Haha, bitch, you make sausage!
–6 train
Overheard by: Rebel WiithOut a Cause
Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you?
–Staten Island Ferry
Brunette: So, did you tell your mom yet?
Blonde: Yeah, my boyfriend was actually more upset about it than she was. She’s really laid-back.
Brunette: That’s good.
Blonde: Yeah, she said as long as I went to a nice, clean place to get it done, she’s happy.
–6 train
Overheard by: Allicat
Black kid after seeing white girl in gym clothes run by: Man, for a second I thought that white girl was running from the cops too!
–Fordham Road, The Bronx
Overheard by: run, white girl, run
Middle-aged black lady yelling on crowded train: Young black men stand the fuck up! Kill the NYPD!
–A Train
Little kid to bus driver, after a police car siren is heard: Whenever I hear a police car siren, I always think that they are getting donuts, 'cause, ya know, cops love donuts, right?
–B41 Bus
Dude: I was playing the new GTA. I drove around looking for my apartment but couldn't find it, so I just shot a bunch of cops.
–Columbus Circle
Cop with M-4 assault rifle (serious voice, on a sunny day): It's raining men out here.
–86th & Lexington
Asian girl to friend: You know her! She’s the Asian girl — you know, the one with the eyes!
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: Chuckles
Little boy about Japanese man: Mom, how come that man is closing his eyes all the time?!
–Liberty St
Overheard by: galgal
Emo Asian boy: You can recover from drug or alcohol addictions, but there is no cure for Asianism.
–Weinstein Dining Hall, NYU
Drunk Asian man: Did you see that mosaic? It’s all wrong. The Asians were all one shade of yellow. What kind of art work is that? Look at me and my people — we’re multiple shades!
–R train
20-something woman: Being an Asian and being a tranny aren’t the same thing.
–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ladle
Cute girl to guy she went to high school with: We should totally hang out! I mean, I have no idea who you are, but…
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
College girl: Yeah, the worst part about Africa was that we, like, didn't go out!
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Noemi
Shabby-looking blue collar mom to distinguished older Indian woman: Ohhh! I have always wanted to go to Bollywood! I love East Africa and Asia! I wanted to buy a bonsai tree, but they are way too expensive.
–5 Train
20-something, looking at Washington arch: There was something like this in France.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: M
Guy on cell: I swear I didn't have sex with her when I was in Norway.
–Lower East Side
