Barefoot hobo: World War II was the best day of my life til my big sista was born in 1812. That was them Spaniard War… (silence, then in a really loud voice) Dammit, who stole my chicken?
Nervous white woman to friend, whispering: That's what happens when you send your kids to public school… (a minute later) Did he even have chicken?
–F Train
Brunette: I would never date a guy who wears skinny jeans.
Blonde: What's wrong with skinny jeans?
Brunette: It means he's got fashion sense. I just don't need that. I would also never date a guy who's sociable.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: wearing skinny jeans and wouldn't date her either
(train stops late at night, conductor orders everyone out)
30-something man with large black coat on: This is why I drive drunk! This is why I drive drunk! Because the trains suck! This is why I drive drunk!
20-something woman in heels: This is why I get in the car when he drives drunk! This is why I get in the car when he drives drunk!
30-something man: This is why I drive drunk! Fuck this train!
20-something woman: You tell them, uncle! You tell them!
–L Train
Black man passing out leaflets: And this woman here, you know she'd love to have a big black cock in her. Don't deny it, baby, you would.
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: unimpressed and skeptical
Girl to friend, unknowingly a few feet away from black guy: Thank god there's no black people on this street.
–Steinway St
Black TA, walking in five minutes before class: Oh my god, am I early? Oh, no! I'm going against my people's stereotype!
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: kpan
Asian guy to another, loudly: The black girl doesn't sound black. How do they do that?
–Uptown W Train
Queer to another: So I want to get dreadlocks, like black people.
–W 14th & 6th
Black lady to staring white kid: That's right little boy, this is what a black person looks like.
–Outside Toys R' Us, Times Square
Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Ed
Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: BKLover
Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Mawy
Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.
–73rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Tired thug teen, wistfully: I'd dance like crazy in a basement.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Two-year-old boy, pointing at three-month old baby: Isn't that guy in my dance class?
–Red Hook, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Swimfan
Clueless man to friend: What do you call male ballerinas anyway? Ballers?
–Cirque du Soleil Show, Randall's Island
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Girl to friend: I didn't dance with him at all…I kept walking away from him…I wasn't actually a very good prom date.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: wink
Metrosexual on cell: Do you have a large table in your apartment? Is it large enough for five men to stand on? Of course, we won't be dancing!
–Upper West Side
Asian woman to large black man holding pink bag: I think it's funny that a large black man is holding a little pink bag.
Black man: It's where I keep my drugs.
–Downtown 1
Jamaican man: The biggest issue of our society is not terrorism but men lusting after women's butts! If you lust after women's butts you will burn in hell! Women, do not show off your butts for you will burn in hell! Do not wear jeans or tight pants! Make sure you cover up your butts!
Passenger: I love the butts.
Jamaican man: Do you have no soul? The lust of the women's butts will only bring you to the devil! Please save yourself and stop lusting after the butts!
Passenger: Who loves the butts?
All men on train: Yay butts!
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: white girl with a big butt wearing tight pants
Older woman: So where's Bangladesh?
College girl, looking at MTA map: Oh, I think its uptown somewhere.
–F Train
Overheard by: Nehc
Young woman to friend: And I was getting so fucking mad at my boss, so I reached into my bag and pulled out the emergency extra strength maxi-pad I always carry, and walked into his office and threw it at his face. And he looks at me calmly, picks it up, opens it up and sticks it to his desk, and then takes his bottle of water and starts pouring it onto the pad. So I scream, “what the fuck are you doing?” and he looks at me and says, “I want to see if the commercials are true.”
–Downtown 1 Train
