Guy: We should totally just trip out on acid and ride the subways all day.
Girl: Which train?
Guy: All of them.
–L Train
Overheard by: BB
Guy: We should totally just trip out on acid and ride the subways all day.
Girl: Which train?
Guy: All of them.
–L Train
Overheard by: BB
20-ish guy: What do I want for lunch?
20-ish chick: I don’t know… Would you call me a socialist?
20-ish guy: No, not to your face.
–2 train
Overheard by: sarah
Woman on cell: I can't come. I'm in the Poconos right now.
–Rite Aid, The Bronx
Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walking around in the neighborhood… Yeah, we're at the Time Warner center right now. No! No, of course I'm not on St. Mark's. No. I'd never go there. Of course I'm sober! Why wouldn't I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!
–St. Mark's Place
Russian guy on phone (in Russian): Yeah, I'm on Avenue M. I just got off, I'll be there in a few.
–Q Train, Kings Highway
Overheard by: Robert
Dude on cell: Yo! What's up? I'm waiting at LaGuardia.
–Martin Luther King High School
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Guy on cell: Yeah, I'm on Long Island right now. I'll be here for a little while.
–Park Slope
Female suit on phone: I have to cancel dinner tonight, I had that meeting I told you about, remember? And I'm still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Jersey still.
–Washington Square Park
Woman on cell outside a pub: Honey? It's mommy. We're still at the hospital. I don't know, we could still be here for hours.
–1st & 72nd
Overheard by: Well, there were hospitals nearby, at least
Guy: You are a walking Katrina, you know that?
–C train
Overheard by: Jill Beirne
Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you couldn't play Street Fighter.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Blond girl, regarding Egyptian artifacts: This is just like a video game!
–The Met
Overheard by: Rachael and Ben
Mindless dude playing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch calling me? (answers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in "my video game," psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I wouldn't be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?
–A Train
Overheard by: token white chick
Ghetto kids, as 95-year-old Chinese lady walks into moving traffic: Damn, she think she playing Frogger!
–Chinatown
Friend to friend: I wonder how Super Mario Bros will influence my decision?
–Houston St & Broadway
Lady suit: Every time I get on the subway there’s always some freak of nature sitting there. I wish they’d do something about that!
–34th & 7th
Dorky teen boy: This is the subway station?! Wow!
–2nd floor, Port Authority
Overheard by: JoBell
Lady suit: If you smoke enough pot, the B Train becomes the Hogwarts Express!
–DeKalb station
Overheard by: jaded
Blonde: I’ve only ever taken the shuttle from Grand Central to Times Square. I’ve never gone East on it. I don’t know how.
–1 train
Overheard by: minerfa
Dad to young son as doors close: Come on, come on, come on! [He holds the closing doors, and they make it inside.] Um, don’t ever do that.
–F train
Overheard by: dianora
Large black man on cell phone: They did the deal with the diamonds, then the other guy got greedy and shot up the place.
–Union Ave
Overheard by: Seth Callaway
Teen, looking around: Where are we? Are we purchasing illegal arms?
–Turkish Restaurant, Montague St.
Overheard by: Mike N
Blonde chick in pink coat, perkily: … There was no exit wound, and no bullet.
–L train
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl talking to co-worker: I live near Wall Street and there are like army men down there with machine guns and it’s scary! How do I know they don’t have Tourette’s and won’t just start shooting their guns all over the place?!
–41st & 3rd
Older suit, calmly, to his two female coworkers: I’d like to put a gun to his head and say "Nickie do the right thing or I will blow your fucking head off."
[His companions nod in understanding.]
–Starbucks
Calm Jewish fraternity guy on cell: So, I’m being deported and drafted into the Israeli army… It’s okay, I’ll name my gun after you!
–NYU Waverly Building
Conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound R train… No! J train… This is a Brooklyn-bound N train. Next stop, DeKalb Avenue. [Passengers laugh.]
–N train, Canal St
Overheard by: Bridgettttttttt
Hobo: Can anyone spare some change? Please, I’m homeless and hungry.
British tourist #1: Is that the same bloke from the earlier train?
British tourist #2: No, I think it’s a woman.
British tourist #1: Oh! Poor thing. I wish we had a brassiere to give her.
–F train
Teenage boy #1: So, would you say she's a ho?
Teenage boy #2: No, I wouldn't say she's a ho, she just likes to fuck a lot.
–R Train
