Mom: Baby, now if you don’t put your coat on, I’m gonna spank you.
Little girl: No! I will tell Daddy and he will spank you.
Mom: No, baby, he will not. Nobody spanks me but Jesus.
–M101 bus
Overheard by: Lucy Sorensen
Mom: Baby, now if you don’t put your coat on, I’m gonna spank you.
Little girl: No! I will tell Daddy and he will spank you.
Mom: No, baby, he will not. Nobody spanks me but Jesus.
–M101 bus
Overheard by: Lucy Sorensen
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
Father: How was school today?
Little girl: Didn’t have school today, it was Saturday.
Father: Oh. What about tomorrow?
Little girl: No, that’s Sunday.
Father: Oh.
Little girl: Are we taking a taxi?
Father: No.
Little girl: Good.
–Queens bound F train
Overheard by: djingo
Little girl in car: Dad, slow down! You don't get extra points for hitting pedestrians!
Overly cheerful father: It depends what game you're playing!
–38th & 5th
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Little boy, about little brother: Daddy, he says that when the blood on his knee dries, he's gonna pick it off and throw it at me! Daddy, tell him not to do that!
Dad: That scrape is fresh. We have plenty of time before we need to worry about that.
–6 Train
Guy: Which one of you woke up late this morning, you or your momma?
Daughter: Oh, my mom.
Mom: No, I didn’t oversleep, I just got caught up doing schoolwork.
Guy: Shoot, do you think Jesus had excuses when he was dying on the cross?
–B67 bus
Mother: Fee fie fo fum!
Very young daughter: I have me a smelly bum!
Mother: Oh dear.
–McCarren Park
Overheard by: Todd Dillard
(six-year-old boy tries to cross street against traffic)
Father, grabbing boy's hand: Whoa, little man! That's dangerous!
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, I eat danger for breakfast.
–Ocean & Newkirk, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Well I eat razors and nails.
