Hipster queer: This cigarette tastes like a taint.
Suit queer: That's weird.
Hipster queer: Yeah.
Suit queer: Cause I rubbed it in my armpit.
–NYU
Hipster queer: This cigarette tastes like a taint.
Suit queer: That's weird.
Hipster queer: Yeah.
Suit queer: Cause I rubbed it in my armpit.
–NYU
Girl: So you fucked my ex?
Gay guy: I'm sorry, I was wasted! (starts crying)
Girl: He was mine, dammit! We're definitely not shopping tomorrow.
–Union Square
Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!
–1 Train
Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kristy Magyar
Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.
–Union Station
Overheard by: scared white guy
White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.
–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!
–Times Square
Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?
–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting
Blonde middle aged woman, singing, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland": Walking in a Weeeeeiner Wonderland…
–Food Store, 57th St
Hobo, rummaging in trash, to tune of "Blue Suede Shoes": One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now go, cat, go. Gonna rob this town, rob this town tonight.
–79th & Broadway
Overheard by: thevineyard
am New York guy, singing loudly: Get am New York! Stay dry! Thank god you're aliiiiiiive!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Hobo, singing while passing by shopping cart: Push, push in the bush, yeah, push it in the bush!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Gay gentleman, singing in response to another gay gentleman dancing down the street in pouring rain: He's gayer in the rain, he's gayer in the rain!
–W 23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Jess
Man to Spanish guy singing "La Bamba": Shut the fuck up!
–51st St Station
Older straight woman with tiny dog: Is this place a Hotspot?
40-something gay man with bright pink shirt: You mean like a meat market?
–Starbucks, 12th St & 2nd Ave
(homeless woman who smells like urine exits train).
Gay guy to rest of train: Okay, does anybody have something I can spritz over here to get rid of this lingering smell?
(everybody on the train looks at him like he's crazy)
Sorority girl, smelling the urine: Oh my god. Is this smell from that woman?
Gay guy: Yeah.
Sorority girl: It's okay, I have something to spray over here.
(digs into purse and takes out an oddly shaped bottle of perfume, sprays a few times, and sits down)
Gay guy: That's a cool bottle.
Sorority girl: Thanks, it's Britney.
–2 Train
Gay guy: I'm the understudy? How does this make sense? I'm so good and Greg is so awful.
Girl: Yeah, I don't know.
Gay guy: It's like Brad Pitt being cast as an extra for Pauly Shore's new movie. And I'm Brad Pitt!
–8th & 30th
Overheard by: Rob Anderson
Flamboyant gay man: This is like when we saw Equus.
Lesbian biker chick: Oh, I forgot you saw that! How was it?
Flamboyant gay man: It was good. Except the actress puts her leg up on the horse like this (demonstrates by lifting his leg in the air) and I could totally see her tonsils…through her vajayjay.
–E Train
Overheard by: Sarah
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, of course he stole my five dollars! It was mine. It was right there.
Straight white hippie: I did not take anything of yours.
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, who are you gonna believe, him or me? I mean, look at him–he's not even dressed well!
Straight white hippie: Dude, I hope something seriously bad happens to you.
–Union Square Subway Station
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
