The White Devil's Wednesday One-Liners

Older black man to nobody in particular: Ain't nothin' done changed in two-hundred years! White folks is still goin' round makin' a mess and then makin' a black man come in and clean up after them…

–Post Office, Gun Hill & Jerome, The Bronx

Asian girl: Do white people eat sandwiches for dinner?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Spec

Black teen girl: If a sister is feeding a white bitch, you know she is fucked up.

–T.G.I. Friday's

Overheard by: Chris K

Black chick: But can a Frenchman be a honky?

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunter

Linguistically savvy hobo: The term "cracker" originated from a man named Robert Whitely. It was used to refer to people as "white trash".

–37th & 3rd

Latina woman to elderly mother: We gonna find you a seat soon, mami. If I gotta beat up white bitches… Let's go.

–3rd & 1st

Overheard by: j

Posted on September 18, 2014
Age/Aging, Asians, Black People, Cleanliness, Fighting and ass kicking, Food, Girls, Grand Central, History & Geography, Hobos, Latinos, Men, Moms, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, One-liners, Parents, Park Slope, Post Office, Psychology, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, The Bronx, Threats, Train Station, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Words

So Close

Woman: So, what does Les Miserables translate into? “The Miserables”?
Man: Uh, yeah. Isn’t that obvious? It’s Spanish!

–Les Miserables, Theater

Overheard by: hjane

Posted on September 17, 2014
Books & Writing, Default, Languages, Men, Questions, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Women

…Then Take the 1 to the Bronx.

Tourist on shuttle headed towards Grand Central: I'm sorry, how do I get to Times Square?
Guy: Take this train two stops.

–Times Square

Posted on September 17, 2014
Directions, Guys, Public Transportation, Questions, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists

You Want to End Up As Fat, Sick and Broke As I Am?

Dad: So, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Son: Oh, you know, a usual Saturday night… Pizza, beer, and strippers.
Dad: Okay, can you just pick one of those, because all of those are unhealthy.

–N Train

Overheard by: dc visitor

Posted on September 17, 2014
Dads, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Parents, Pizza, Questions, Strippers

Kids These Days Are Bred to Be Competitive

Bag lady: Spare some food…I'm hungry. Anything, even some water.
Seven-year-old girl to mother, after bag lady leaves: She's hungry. Why's she hungry? I'm hungry too!

–E Train

Overheard by: nk

Posted on September 17, 2014
Bag ladies, Food, Homeless, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

It’s Good to See People Embracing Religion for Materialistic Reasons

Jewish guy #1: We should become born-again Christians so people have to get us presents and we can have parties on our born-again birthdays.
Jewish guy #2: That is the worst reason for converting I have ever heard… Wait, no — actually, if we do it, can we have born-again bar mitzvahs?

–South St Seaport

Posted on September 17, 2014
Advice, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Guys, Jews, Judaism, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Gotta Admit, He's Mad Crackerish

Really white guy (loudly): Who is that fucking nigger you're working for now?
Another white guy: Pleasant….so do you live around here now?
Really white guy: Yeah, this is my hood.

–Deli, Greenpoint Ave / Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Jesse

Posted on September 17, 2014
Delis, Guys, Insults, Jobs & Careers, KKK, Queens, Questions, Race, White People

If Daddy Doesn't Get Croissant at Home, He'll Look Elsewhere

Mom pushing stroller: May I have some of your croissant?
Little girl in stroller: Yeah, but not daddy.
Mom: Oh, you don't want daddy to have any of your croissant?
Little girl: Yeah.
Mom: You want to control who gets to eat your croissant?
Little girl: Yeah.
Mom: You want control of your croissant?
Little girl: …yeah.
Mom: You want croissant power?
Little girl: (silence)
Mom: You want to be Captain croissant?
Little girl: (silence)

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Commodore Croissant

Posted on September 16, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Kids, Moms, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, Parents, Park Slope, Questions, Weirdness

We’ll Hang Out With the No-Facesitting Crowd

Annoyingly hipster girl: So there’s a fetish party tonight, do you want to go? It’s five bucks.
Annoyingly hipster guy: Oh, I don’t know.
Annoyingly hipster girl: Come on. It will be better than last time, I promise.

–Whole Foods, Houston St

Posted on September 16, 2014
Celebrations/Parties, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Questions, Whole Foods

‘Two Coasts’? That’s Just Crazy Talk!

Blonde #1: I met Kelly in Portland.
Blonde #2: Which Portland?
Blonde #1: What are you talking about?
Blonde #2: Well there are two: one on the east coast, one on the west coast.
(long silence)
Blonde #1: You know, it’s not funny to lie all the time like that.

–Houston St

Posted on September 15, 2014
Default, Friends, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, The Village, U.S. Geography

Questions