Fat black girl #1: Remember that time he didn't come out because he said he had diarrhea?
Fat black girl #2: Yeah, and then we went over to his house, and he didn't even have diarrhea!
–14th & 2nd
Fat black girl #1: Remember that time he didn't come out because he said he had diarrhea?
Fat black girl #2: Yeah, and then we went over to his house, and he didn't even have diarrhea!
–14th & 2nd
Student giving presentation: The angel statue on his grave actually had male genitalia on it, but the cemetery keepers broke it off and used it as a paperweight.
Dumb student: Where on the statue was the genitalia?
Student giving presentation, after long pause: In the same place as male genitalia on a body?
–Classroom, NYU
Overheard by: You've got to be kidding me
Girl: Where is gate 68?
Port authority official: Where are you going?
Girl: New York!
Port authority official, walking away: This is New York.
–Port Authority
Tall girl: So what happened?
Brunette with bangs: I just didn't respond. I figured that'd drive him crazier. Besides, what do I have to say, really? “You sucked in bed and were too emo for me–grow a pair and learn to fuck”? That's not very nice, and frankly, the whole thing was so weird and casual I was glad it ended quietly.
–Enid's, Greenpoint
Cute young male suit, smiling: Was I erect?
Cute young female suit, smiling: Yes.
Cute young male suit: Did I stay that way?
Cute young female suit: Yes!
Cute young male suit: Amazing!
–E.2nd St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Liz A.
Irritated: And what exactly am I supposed to do with a dead rat?
Medicated: (shrugs)
–53th & 8th
Agitated man: I'm going to take that lawyer to court now!
Disinterested store owner: For what?
Agitated man: Not talking nice!
–35th & 4th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rhian
Guy #1: So was it more like Mars or more like Earth?
Guy #2: She said it was more like Earth.
–7th Ave & 16th St
Seven-year-old boy: Will I meet my goldfish in heaven someday?
Mother: I don't know anything about what happens to goldfish when they die, but I can tell you that there is no god.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Young woman #1: And I hate him for it! I was always the needy one! So now he's doing what I taught him. Now he's the needy one. That used to be me! And he's using the tricks I taught him to manipulate me! I hate him so much!
Young woman #2: So when's the wedding?
–Central Park Reservoir
Overheard by: The Grozz
