I Don’t Think Either of You Have Really Seen The Polar Express

10-year-old little brother: And then there was this huge fight on an armored train.
20-something big brother: Wait, are you sure it was a train?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah, it was an armored train that had guns, and bombs, and fireworks.
20-something big brother: Are you sure it wasn’t a truck? I saw that movie and it was a truck.
10-year-old little brother: Nope, it was a train.
20-something big brother: You didn’t see the movie, did you? You just had someone tell you about it, right?
10-year-old little brother: Yeah…

–1 Train

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on June 19, 2008
Boys, Brothers, Default, Fighting and ass kicking, Guys, Kids, Movies, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, War, Weapons

“Urban” Wednesday One-Liners

Hobo: Man, if you wanna get into heaven, you gotta talk to black people. They know where they at. Can’t get into heaven if you don’t talk to black people.

–Statue of Liberty

Bimbette on cell: So she is like pregnant? Like she is gonna have a baby? Hey, whatever happened to that black family?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Bigg Rigg

NYU grad student: Bill Clinton isn’t black to me anymore.

–NYU

Black couple to group of white people: We’re black! We’re invisible!

–W 4th St

Overheard by: mada

White grandpa to white granddaughter in playground: Black kids have so much fun!

–Union Square Park

Posted on June 18, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Bimbettes, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Hobos, Kids, NYU, Old People, On Cell, Penn Station, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Race, Statue of Liberty, Students, Washington Square Park, West Village, White People

The Wednesday One-Liner Is Always Right

Store clerk lady to man leaning on shelf: Sir, you cannot do that… You are gettin’ too comfortable in this store.

–Grocery Store

Sales clerk to woman with a pug wearing a sweater and booties: That is so gangsta!

–Soho

Overheard by: Lara

Apathetic server to customer: Do I look like I am happy at all?

–Starbucks, Manhattan Mall

Young female customer service rep to another: I’m not sayin’…, I’m just sayin’…, you know what I’m sayin’.

–Macy’s Customer Service

Overheard by: Richard Downey

Daffy’s employee to lady trying on shoes: Do they fit? [Before customer can respond.] I don’t even know why I’m askin’ you. You a customer. I don’t even care.

–Daffy’s, Atlantic Terminal in Brooklyn

Overheard by: Crystal Dickinson

Posted on June 18, 2008
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clerks, Coworkers, Depressed, Etiquette, Grocery Stores, Happiness, Offers and requests, Questions, Soho, Starbucks, Store, Weirdness, Women, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Idolized Wednesday Addams Growing Up

Creepy-looking, middle aged goth guy, yelling: He dances with the denizens of the underworld! [Turns to his female companion.] What was his webpage again?

–7th b/w 1st & 2nd

Goth chick: Yea, my mom cried while my dad chased me around with sandpaper.

–Pratt Campus

Overheard by: Late-Night Passerby

Goth girl to friend: I can’t wait until you’re addicted to sex.

–Queens

Goth girl talking loudly to goth friend: It just sucks that everyone is such a toolbag. Like everyone. That guy right there. Toolbag. You. Toolbag. Everyone is just a toolbag. Like seven out of ten people are just tools.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

Annoyed goth chick to friend: …so it looks like I’m going to be whipping some yuppies in a dungeon again.

–Bedford Ave & 3rd

Overheard by: yuppie45

Posted on June 18, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, College, Crying, Friends, Girls, Goths, Guys, Insults, Internet, Parents, Queens, Questions, Sex, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Words

Wednesday One-Liners, Fresh from the Oven

Girl on cell: You ate breakfast? You animal!

–2 Train Platform, Wall Street

Overheard by: Gin in Tonic

Angry guy on cell: She’s a chef! Of course she makes bad decisions… like deciding to be a chef!

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Withnail

Buddy Holly glasses guy: Oh, I want food so much more than I want women right now.

–First Saturday, Brooklyn Museum

Suit: I’m going to order some mashed potatoes, with a side order of pussy.

–In front of Macy’s, Herald Square

Overheard by: sometimesdee

Middle-aged jewish lady to other: So she asks me if she can come over for supper and I said I don’t know how to work the stove!

–Avenue J & E 12th Street, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Robert

Surprised teen: She fondled my pancakes. She’s a pancake fondler!

–34th St

Overheard by: Chloe

Posted on June 18, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Guys, Jews, Jobs & Careers, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

It’s a Sad State of Affairs When “Lights On” Is Freaky

Dude #1: Yo son, that girl last week, Anna, she is all kinds of freaky.
Dude #2: Weird, that’s what I heard.
Dude #1: Yeah man, she wanted me to do her from behind with the lights on and shit.
Dude #2: Nigga, that shit ain’t freaky.
Dude #1: Yo, with the lights on and a dildo in her mouth.
Dude #2: Wait… Which Anna you talking ’bout, my cousin?

–A Train

Overheard by: nuttybella

Posted on June 17, 2008
Default, Family Ties, Friends, Gossip, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Sex, Weirdness

So Are We Having Lunch at McDonald’s?

Girl #1: Yeah, so she was telling me all about the cleanser, right? And she said it was professional clown approved. What’s up with that? Who buys stuff because it’s been approved by some dumb clown?
Girl #2: I don’t know about buying anything clown approved, but for damn sure I’m not going to buy something that’s not professional clown approved.

–Sephora, 5th Ave

Overheard by: VA

Posted on June 17, 2008
Girls, Manhattan, Questions, Shopping, Store

Can We Back Up to the Chicks Wrestling?

Girl #1: You’re a doctor?
Girl #2: Yeah–you didn’t know that?
Girl #1: Well, I only know you on a wrestling level.
Girl #3: Wow, that is *so* New York.

–Rooftop party, Bedford St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Gnomies

Posted on June 17, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Fighting and ass kicking, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Only in New York, Questions, Weirdness

And Please, No Orientalism on the Way

Hot Asian chick to boyfriend, about former boyfriend: He actually told me he liked fucking me because of my “almond eyes.”
Boyfriend: Where do you find these guys?
Hot Asian chick: I know, right?
Boyfriend: I like fucking you because you come at least once a minute.
Hot Asian chick: Take me home now!

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: …can i borrow her

Posted on June 17, 2008
Asians, Boyfriends, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Offers and requests, Orgasm, Questions, Relationships, Sex, The Village, Weirdness

Maybe They’re in an Open Marriage (We’re Just Putting That Out There…)

Young woman #1: Oh, so that guy I slept with the other week? He’s my friend on Facebook now. Did you see him?
Young woman #2: Is he the bald guy?
Young woman #1: No, he has dark hair. His profile picture is him kissing his wife at their wedding.
Young woman #2: He’s married?
Young woman #1: Yeah, I guess so.

–Starbucks, 19th & 8th

Overheard by: My husband is not on Facebook.

Posted on June 17, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Facebook, Friends, Hair, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Marriage, Questions, Starbucks, Women

Questions