Chick #1: That one guy’s kinda cute, but I think he’s gay.
Chick #2: Yeah, but I don’t think he knows it yet. Go for it.
–Fat Black Pussy Cat, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Chick #1: That one guy’s kinda cute, but I think he’s gay.
Chick #2: Yeah, but I don’t think he knows it yet. Go for it.
–Fat Black Pussy Cat, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Boy: How naked are we getting at this party?
Girl: Honey, I don't even need tequila to take my clothes off.
–Student Musical, Columbia
Guy: I'm a cute gay guy at NYU. I'm doing just fine, darling!
Girl: I'm a straight girl at NYU. I go through a lot of vibrators.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Barely legal girl: Can we do brunch tomorrow?
Guy: Sure.
Barely legal girl: Good. I like having Saturday plans. I get sad on weekends if I don’t wake up in someone else’s bed or have plans.
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Bar Keep
High school girl #1: Rachel*, do you really find that man attractive?
High school girl #2: His personality is perfect!
High school girl #1: He is 50 years old!
High school girl #2: So?
High school girl #3: Yeah, I second that: so what?
–Central Park
Headline by: Tom
Runners-Up:
· “His Money Doesn’t Look a Day Over 20” – Nik
· “Mr. Belding Only Got Better with Age” – RBNY
· “Now, Let’s Make a Pact to Be Impregnated by Him…” – T
· “Who Says Santa Can’t Be a Babe Magnet?” – Nael B
· “You Might Want to Check the Expiration Date on That Personality” – kenderbard
Seven-year-old, looking around: Mommy, is this a gay place?
–Columbus Circle Mall
Deadpan guy: Just for future reference, when you have gay sex in a bathroom stall, you might wanna put paper bags over your feet so people don’t see two pairs of male feet under the door and catch on… I’m just saying.
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Zabet
Fat chick: Gay sex makes everything better.
–Nederlander Theatre
Scruffy college student to friend: So, I told my parents I was gay… Then they told me I was adopted.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: ramona
Old Asian woman, smiling after reading tabloid cover: He is not gay!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I still think he is :-/, BiTCHESSSS!!
Chick #1: I wonder if we look like lesbians.
Chick #2, holding her hand: Yep, we do! It’s funny.
Chick #1: Yeah, I love it!
–53rd & 6th
Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor?
–Grand & Union, Brooklyn
Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed!
–17th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Little kid: Look, I'm on crack!
–Apple Store, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Robert
Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else…
–Walgreens, Union Square
Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium?
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: left my opium stash at home
20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did!
–Chinatown Bus
Overheard by: GavinJoyce
Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay."
–33rd & 7th
Overheard by: EthanK
Queer: So, I had a great time with Dave last night.
Fruit fly: What’d you guys do?
Queer: He took me to this really great bar, [giggles], and he bought me a drink.
Fruit fly: So, does that mean you’re the girl?
Queer: What?
Fruit fly: So, does that mean you’re the girl?
Queer, offended: Well, not in the bedroom!
–9th & 1st
Russian woman to Russian friend: I want to see Notorious because it's about black people.
–Regal Cinema, 13th & Broadway
High school boy: Hey, look–a black kid!
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Black guy: Don't worry, its alright! I'm not that black! I haven't mugged anybody in two weeks, and I love all white people under six feet tall!
–Time Square
Overheard by: Jennie
Middle-aged black woman, to no one in particular: That George W. Bush! He walks like an arrogant black man!
–Queens
Overheard by: BigFatTiger
Nerdy Jewish guy: I don't know what went wrong. I should be a black girl by now!
–Queens College
