Bible thumper: There is a reason they call it ‘Black Friday.’ This is the end of times, folks. They are here.
Queer working at Alexia Crawford: Man, I can’t wait to be 60 and bitter.
–Union Square
Overheard by: ritechus
Bible thumper: There is a reason they call it ‘Black Friday.’ This is the end of times, folks. They are here.
Queer working at Alexia Crawford: Man, I can’t wait to be 60 and bitter.
–Union Square
Overheard by: ritechus
Teen girl #1: No! I can’t go, because your mom’s a motherfucking whore!
Teen girl #2: Okay, I love you! Bye!
–104th & Broadway
Young girl with Texan accent #1: What’s Soho?
Young girl with Texan accent #2: Oh, that’s like where they have all the discount shopping places.
–R train
Headline by: dan
Runners-Up:
· “Bush Twins…….Activate!” – stephie
· “In Texas, We Call It Mexico…” – Michael Haigh
· “There’s a Wal-Mart in SoHo?” – Chuckles
· “They Were Disappointed with DUMBO, Too.” – nick
Teen to another: Yo, if I pass in June, I’ll only be in high school five years! [Pounds fists with pal.]
–F train
Chick: I used to be a straight-A student until I realized I was just learning how to get A’s.
–Diner, Chelsea
Frat boy: There are still wedgies in Quaker school.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: Jeff McCrum
Lunching chick: I mean, I only feel sort of responsible for their illiteracy. I am their teacher…
–Dishes Restaurant, 45th St
Overheard by: Literate
Teen: No lie, my nigga — I wrote a perfect essay! I wrote a perfect essay, nigga!
–Marte Valle Prep School, Stanton & Norfolk
Teacher giving tour: Back then it was very difficult to graduate from high school, and it still is, judging from the amount of people who drop out. Although a tree stump could graduate from Saint Ann’s… Okay, no one put that in the school newspaper quotes… Please…
–Chinatown
20-ish white girl to friends: Guys, sometimes I just feel like the only white girl in the city…
–Fulton St
Overheard by: other white girls
Hobo peering in from sidewalk: Ain’t nothin’ but white people all up in this motherfucker! This shit is racist, yo!
–Garden of Eden, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bubby
Black girl on cell: He fucked a white girl? He fucked a white girl?! How stupid is he? You know if you fuck a white girl you gotta get her consent and then sign a contract!
–PATH platform
Angry black traveler on cell: Do you know how long it takes me to get to JFK from my place?! I’m surrounded by crackers! I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. Here. Crackers all starin’ at me… I dunno what they’re lookin’ at.
–JFK
Overheard by: Not A Cracker But Staring Anyway
Old white guy at Cirque du Soleil show, to daughter: Is this primarily a white thing? I guess that’s why I don’t like this show. I’ve got too much soul for this.
–Madison Square Garden
Drunk black lesbian: I am not racist in any way. I believe that it’s something that’s taught and passed down from your parents. I am not a racist… but what’s up with white people?!
–D train
Chick: I dunno, ever since 9/11, my period has been all off.
Guy: Really? You think the trade towers had something to do with it?
Chick: Yeah, I think so… Maybe because of all the dust in the air from the building or something.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Shalvi
Older woman: What’s the time, dear?
Teen girl: Two o’clock.
Old woman: Are you sure? It looks dark outside.
Teen girl, annoyed: Yes, I’m sure.
Man, overhearing: Actually, I think it’s seven P.M.
Teen girl: Oh, right. I forgot we set the clocks back this weekend.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Arun
Dude: Do any of these trains go under water?
Chick: Yeah, you can feel it getting colder. It’s so cool.
Dude: Which train is it?
Chick: It’s one of those trains that goes from Brooklyn to Manhattan. I think it was the B or the G…
–6 train, Brooklyn Bridge City Hall
Foreign exchange student: So, Claudia, since your boyfriend’s modeling career is taking off, have you thought of ever going abroad?
Latina: Nah, not really.
Foreign exchange student: Well, you could go to London.
Latina: Ohhh, no. I don’t got the time to learn the language.
Foreign exchange student: But Claudia, it’s England — they speak English!
Latina: Well, you know what I mean.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Girl #1: I am, like, so dumb. I mean, really dumb. People look at me and think I’m dumb.
Girl #2: Yeah…
–Central Park
