Wednesday How Many Liners?

Cute guy to German flight attendant on layover: So, do you have cars in Germany?

–Barracuda

Overheard by: barkeeper

Girl: So, my mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian. Does that make me, like, bi-racial?

–Eugene Lang College

Overheard by: Still ashamed I go to school here

Hispanic high school girl: Is the Fourth of July always on a Friday?

–N Train

Overheard by: D-Law

Guy to friend: Well, that's nice, they have these machines set up for the visually impaired, but what about the deaf people?

–ATM, 38th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: jennyooooo

Student: Is Swedish even a language?

–Columbia University

Trucker: What are you, stupid, or both?

–M86 Crosstown Bus

Posted on July 17, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bus, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Columbia, Columbia University, Conductors, Family Ties, Flight Attendants, Foreigners, Friends, Girls, Guys, Handicaps, Insults, Languages, Latinos, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Race, Religion, Students, Stupidity, Time, Wednesday One-Liners

Wednesday Will Go Nazarene on Your One-Liners

Black woman: Sixteen dollars? That paper better be made out of Jesus's ass.

–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

40-something to friends: And what's going on with the fucking baby Jesus over there?

–Starbucks

Guy on cell: In my class, we were talking about how Jesus was a Viking warrior.

–Queens College

Woman, about Matt Lauer and Katie Couric: See, this is why Jesus Christ and the Pharisees didn't get along.

–22nd St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rachel Peters

Woman on phone on the night before Easter: No, I do not want you at my house right now. (pause) I'm going home to watch The Ten Commandments and read my bible–Jesus is coming back tomorrow!

–B44 Bus

Overheard by: Micah

Drunk high school girl: If Jesus had discovered a cure for dry mouth, he'd be a lot more popular!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Smudge

Posted on July 16, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Black People, Books & Writing, Bus, Christianity, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Guys, History & Geography, Insults, Jesus, Medicine, Money & Class, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Bus, Queens, Queens College, Questions, School and studying, Sorority Girls, Starbucks, Store, Street, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Better Spit Out That Gum Before Walking

Gum-chewing chick #1: He should get life for what he did.
Gum-chewing chick #2: Life? He should be executed!
Gum-chewing chick #1: That’s what I mean! He should get life!
Gum-chewing chick #2: That’s not what “getting life” means. “Getting life” means you go to prison for the rest of your life. Don’t you know anything?
Gum-chewing chick #1: Well, I don’t read the papers or watch the news…

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Johnny Drongo

Posted on July 16, 2015
Crime and Punishment, Girls, Idiots, Staten Island Ferry, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

They Also Killed Themselves (Hint, Hint)

Tourist boy: Daddy, I hate Ground Zero. Can’t we go?
Tourist dad: Well, the terrorists hated it too, but they came here.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: Steven Vames

Posted on July 16, 2015
Dads, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Parents, Street, Stupidity, Terrorism

“What is this, a spelling test?”

Girl: Wait, what are you doing?
Guy: Huh? What do you think?
Girl: I mean, why are you putting your credit card into this box-thing?
Guy: To…um, get money?
Girl: Money? This machine gives you money if you have a card?
Guy: Um…this is, like, an ATM.

–Deli, 13th & 5th

Overheard by: Halli Civelek

Posted on July 15, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Manhattan, Money & Class, Stupidity

Did You Feel As Dirty As I Did When He Said “Tastebud Sensation”?

Old british man, to liquor store employees: Have any of you ever tried this beer?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Nah.
Old british man: Oh, it’s a splendid Belgian stout, very sweet. It’s my absolute favorite variety of Belgian beer. You should try it sometime. It is absolutely divine, a tastebud sensation the likes of which I can guarantee you’ve never known. Well, have a great night, chaps. [Pays for his beer and walks out.]Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: Yo, dog, you hear that guy’s accent? You think his accent was real?
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: Nah.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #1: I don’t think so, either.
Thugged-out liquor store employee #2: It couldn’t have been real. You hear that guy? He ain’t from no foreign country. He spoke perfect English.

–Liquor Store, Manhattan

Overheard by: daile

Posted on July 15, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Advice, Brits, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Coworkers, Customers, Drinks, Foreigners, Languages, Manhattan, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Stupidity, Thugs

Live Fast, Die Young, Get Lost on the Way to Hoboken

Bassist: This is going to Jersey, right?
Bandmate: Yeah, no one would let us go this far if we weren’t.
Bassist: Yeah, we’re going to Hoboken.
Bandmate: Is Hoboken a city?
Bassist: No, it’s a street or avenue.
Bandmate: Hoboken Street, yeah.
Bassist: Yeah, we’re definitely going to Jersey. Someone would tell us if we weren’t.

–Crowded Brooklyn-bound L train

Overheard by: brooklyn3

Posted on July 15, 2015
Directions, Idiots, Musicians, NYC Geography, On the Subway, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Beware Of Wednesday One-Liner

Girl on cell with dog in her bag: So I was just like "You're a friggin douche!" (pauses and looks in bag) Fuck! My asshole dog just shit in my bag! (takes dog out) Oh my god! It shit in my lap! It's everywhere! Help me, Dana!

–D Train

Overheard by: Hahahahaaaaa

Passerby to young woman tying up about 10 dogs, singing: Who let the dogs out? Who?

–E 90th St

Six-year-old girl to mother: And then I said, "Oh, Shihtzu!"

–Houston & Orchard

Overheard by: j

Man on cell: I mean, I don't want to compare her to a dog. But, I just don't want to pet that, if you know what I mean.

–E 4th St & Lafayette

Overheard by: amanda

Large scruffy man in deli apron, watching hot Latina: Woof! (pause) Sorry baby, it's just the dog in me. Woof!

–2nd Ave & 94th St

Fat man to female friend: I don't know that dogs are delicious. Rather, I know that pork is.

–Broadway & Chambers St

Overheard by: Carolyn S

Girl, pointing at Dachshunds: Look, Chihuahuas!

–Winter Gardens

Posted on July 15, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Fat People, Food, Friends, Girls, Insults, Kids, Laptop, Lower East Side, Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Poop, Questions, Singing, Strangers, Street, Stupidity, Theater, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

God Save the Burger King

British teen: Look Mum, it’s Wendy’s.
British Mom: Thank God, now I know where we are.
British teen: But it’s not the same Wendy’s as before.
British Mom: Then we’re lost.

–34th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Tina Marney

British guy #1: I can’t wait to go home!
British guy #2: Why’s that?
British guy #1: I never noticed before I came here that there is a sense of security in knowing 100% that the person behind the counter can tie their own shoelaces.

–Times Square

Posted on July 15, 2015
Families, Foreigners, Moms, Stupidity, Teens, Times Square, Tourism, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

She Has a Black Belt in Combat Epistemology

Brunette looking up from book: Did you know?
Blonde: What? What? You gotta tell me!
Brunette: Never mind. I don’t want you to know knowledge.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: that explains a lot

Posted on July 14, 2015
Bimbettes, Stupidity, Washington Square Park

Stupidity