Suit #1: So everybody was just fucking everybody?
Suit #2: Oh, yeah!
–48th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Peter
Suit #1: So everybody was just fucking everybody?
Suit #2: Oh, yeah!
–48th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Peter
Chick: …And then when the naked girl got in the balloon I was so scared I thought I would die!
–1 train
Overheard by: Michael Schiano
Dude: It’s like, as soon as you step into a room and take off your pants, all hell breaks loose!
–Allen & Stanton
Overheard by: Griffin
Dude: I swear, like, everyone on this block has seen me naked.
–Outside Rubin Hall, NYU
Overheard by: Josh
Little girl: Look! The nakeds! They’re naked!
–Greek sculpture wing, the Met
Chick on cell: I mean, if I’m going to send my friends footage of me doing topless jumping jacks, I want it to be remembered.
–Harlem
Suit on cell: You wanna know why we’re not friends anymore? Remember the last time you came to my house? I came out of the bathroom and there you were, stretched out on my sofa, naked, playing with your dick. What the fuck was that all about?
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Big Larry
Doctor to patient: Sir, I am going to prescribe you two things — some burn cream for, well, you know, and some advice: try not to cook without your pants on.
–Beth Israel Hospital Emergency Room
Suit #1: Dude, she’s pregnant.
Suit #2: Holy shit. No way. What are you gonna do?
Suit #1: I have no idea.
Suit #2: You have to make her have an abortion.
Suit #1: It’s her decision; I can’t make her have an abortion.
Suit #2: Dude, you’re an attorney — you can make her do anything you want. And if she doesn’t agree, you know there are ways to threaten her into doing it.
Suit #1, in amazement: Where the hell did you go to law school?
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: I hope he didn’t pass Legal Ethics
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Suit #1: I like this trend… Taking your favorite childhood cartoon character and slutting it up.
Suit #2: Yup.
–W 34 St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: not
Chick complaining about looking for roommates: The problem with today is that everybody’s Jewish.
–Dobbin & Norman
Overheard by: Sam Tresler
Young quasi-gangster to friends: Even if you’re not Jewish, you’re, like… Jewish.
–Post-Yankees game on B train
Overheard by: Indiana
Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jewish deli? All I want is a tongue sandwich and a fucking piece of pizza!
–Grand Central Station
Overheard by: X-tal
Lady suit: Are you saying you’d rather be with a Jewish person than a wife-beater?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: emily
JAP: Shiksas are totally not allowed on Jdate!
–71st & Columbus
Overheard by: DebDan
Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jewish thing, but whenever there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hungry.
–Restroom, Loews Cinema, 11th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Em
Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jewish. I just wanted to check before I dissed the Jews.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: hilla
Suit #1: So we’re getting really into it, and all of a sudden her roommate walks in and acts all normal, like nothing’s going on!
Suit #2: What do you mean?
Suit #1: They started having a fucking conversation! About the laundry!
Suit #2: Shit.
Suit #1: And I’m like, ‘Uhhh, lady, I’m in the middle of dicking this broad — can you stop talking about fucking dirty socks for a minute?’
–N train
Overheard by: Roger
Banker #1: Have you ever thought about what your wife’s shit looks like?
Banker #2: Yeah. I bet it’s really tiny because she’s really tiny.
–F/V subway station, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: threw up in my mouth
Suit on cell: So, what do you want to eat?
Hobo: I’d like some shrimp lasagna, that’s what I want to eat!
–Wall St
Suit #1: That’s how we can get people to join us on the safari! We’ll say, ‘come on our safari and bring back your own little Namibian!’
Suit #2: That reminds me, do you have the M&Ms?
–57th St & 7th Ave
