Girl: Did you just litter?
Friend who just dropped Starbucks cup: Yeah, but it’s okay. The homeless love to clean up trash. They get money for it.
–7th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: JB
Girl: Did you just litter?
Friend who just dropped Starbucks cup: Yeah, but it’s okay. The homeless love to clean up trash. They get money for it.
–7th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: JB
Girl #1: Britney really needs to stop showing her hoo-ha all over Hollywood.
Girl #2: Seriously. If I see one more picture of her vag, I’ll vomit.
Girl #1: What, her mother didn’t teach her to put on panties?
Girl #2: Or get out of a car without showing her cooter?
Girl #3: I was on Perez Hilton dot com the other day, and they fully had pictures of her in all her glory.
Girl #2: Oh my god, was it bald? I heard it actually looked nice and neat.
Girl #3: Yeah, I guess it was okay. One of the nicer ones I’ve seen.
Guy at next table on cell: What? … Oh, sorry honey. No, I’m paying attention to you. I’m just at Starbucks, and some girls were, uh… talking really loud at the next table.
–Starbucks, Union Square
Preppy boy #1: Let’s fight to the death!
Preppy boy #2: Okay, I’ll go get my gun!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: courtney
Two ghetto carolers: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way… [To three other carolers] Hey! Fuckin’ sing! You’re not singing, and we’re supposed to make people fuckin’ happy and shit.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Tex Morgan
Tourist hubby: Excuse me, how can I get to Broadway?
New Yorker: Take the A, C, L, J, or Z downtown — remember, downtown — all the way to Broadway Junction. It’s fairly far, but you can’t miss it.
Tourist wifey: Wow, New Yorkers are not the assholes people say they are.
–Union Square subway station
Overheard by: Ting
Man #1: Can you tell me where I can get the F train to Brooklyn from here?
Man #2: Are you sure you want to do that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: alexandra
Girl #1: What do you think of this dress?
Girl #2: It’s cute! But, oh my god, what is that weird bulge?
Girl #1: Ew! This sucks, my hernia totally got bigger!
Girl #3 yelling from another stall: Did you just say your hernia got bigger?!
Girl #1: Shhh! I’m so embarrassed!
Girl #2: Don’t worry, it’s just Forever 21.
–Dressing room, Forever 21, Union Square
Overheard by: Gillian
Skinny blonde girl: So, was she Jewish?
20-something guy: No, she couldn’t have been. She was wearing pants.
–1st Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: I hate that I know this kid.
Chick #1: Oh, look! That guy totally just whistled at you.
Chick #2: Uh, that’s a hobo.
Chick #1: God, you’re so judgmental. I bet he’s just a free spirit.
Hobo: [Twitches and screams unintelligibly.]
–Union Square
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #1: … And then they gave her a breathalizer, and my mom said I couldn’t drink ’til ninth grade!
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #2: My brother got a breathalizer!
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #3: I want a breathalizer.
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #1: Why?
Tipsy 15-year-old girl #3: To play with!
–Indian restaurant, 6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Ohmygodstopservingthem
