Guy: How many dicks can you fit in your vagina?
Girl: Umm, I'd say five.
–Fire Island
Overheard by: Pranav
Guy: How many dicks can you fit in your vagina?
Girl: Umm, I'd say five.
–Fire Island
Overheard by: Pranav
Girl: It was because her labia was so strong.
Guy: You aren't supposed to talk out of your labia.
Girl: She wasn't talking out of her labia.
Guy: It was a queef. It's still a sound.
–30th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Drunk girl, screaming at Adam Duritz: I want you in my vagina!
Friend: Would you stop?! Like 400 people hate you right now!
Drunk girl: I don’t care, they didn’t fuck him!
Friend: Actually… Like 200 of them probably did…
–Counting Crows Concert
Overheard by: Hating her
Cute girl to drunk friend sitting provocatively with a miniskirt on: Sit up, Beth, your coochie's hangin' out.
Drunk friend: I can't get up. (yelling) Does anyone on this train have a problem with my vagina hanging out?
(train is silent)
Drunk friend: See? No one cares. Vaginas are like modern art these days.
Cute girl: I guess.
Drunk friend: You could take a picture of my snatch right now, frame it, make it look like Warhol, and it would sell in the MoMA for five thousand bucks. Hell, I should be charging admission fees right now. Anyone who comes to see my snatch exhibit and doesn't buy a copy is a misogynist.
–A Train
Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a penis, too, man.’
–W 4th & 6th
Crazy guy: The revolution is in my pussy! The revolution is in my vagina!
–Washington Square Park
Prep school gangsta leaving train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!
–C train
Overheard by: Annearchist
Guy yelling into cell: I’m an intelligent woman! So I think…
–59th St, Columbus Circle
NYU chick: If I was a hermaphrodite, then I would totally understand what they were talking about.
–Shade, W 3rd & Sullivan
Man on cell, authoritatively: Ejaculate!
–14th b/w 3rd & 4th
Mother to curious little girl reaching out to touch Wall Street bull's testicles: No! (yanks her away)
–Bowling Green
Woman shouting across a grassy field: Slutbots!
–McCarren Park, Brooklyn
(intercom beeps 10 times)
Train conductor, over intercom: Shit.
(intercom continues to beep)
–Hudson Line Train
Man on bike speeding along Brooklyn Bridge walkway: Pussyhoooollleeeeee!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Quiet, older gentleman sipping coffee, leafing through newspaper: Motherfuckers!
–Barnes & Noble Coffee Bar, Broadway
Overheard by: Suze V
Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars.
–Long Beach bound LIRR
Girl #1: Jenny said she wants to have kids.
Girl #2: With that vagina? How does she expect to pop them out?
Girl #1: I know, right? She said she’s been to five gynos in the last week.
Girl #2: Lord have mercy on those children — their mama’s vagina is nasty.
–73rd & 2nd
Girl #1: Remember at that party when that stripper picked up a dollar bill with her pussy lips?
Girl #2: Ohhh, yeah — that wasn’t a stripper. That was a full-on whore.
–77th & 1st
Overheard by: mjg
Headline by: clink
Runners-Up:
· “… and It Wasn’t a Dollar Bill. That Was a Full-on Penis” – Caro
· “America DOES Have Talent” – Staci Lynn
· “Because I Saw That Thing Give Change” – nicky c.
· “But We Call Her Aunt Gladys” – Mark Paul
· “I Was Just Shocked She Did It through Her Jeans.” – SAtCW
· “Kind Of Like the Difference Between Maury Povich and Springer” – alana landa
