Street vendor: Designer jewelry. Five dollars.
Woman: Really? What designer?
Street vendor: Who knows.
–52st & 5th
Street vendor: Designer jewelry. Five dollars.
Woman: Really? What designer?
Street vendor: Who knows.
–52st & 5th
Tween girl to friends: Did you know kissing is good for your health?
Cashier lady: Kissing *who*?
–Loehmann’s Upper West Side
(hip girl yells in excitement)
Old woman on street: Grow up!
Hip girl to friend: God! Homeless people spend all day screaming on the street and no one tells them too grow up.
Hip friend: Yeah, it’s not your fault that your dad’s a republican.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: dobby
Fat woman #1, at intermission: Man, these seats are tight!
Fat woman #2: Oh my god, tell me about it! My butt is killing me!
Fat woman #1, to skinny guy sitting in between them: Was I spilling over into your seat?
Skinny guy: You both were.
–New Amsterdam Theatre
Overheard by: Ali
EMT driver woman #1: Oooh… That dog is so cute!
EMT driver woman #2: Hmm, he is cute.
EMT driver woman #1: Sometimes I wish I had a dog instead of a child, cuz when the child grows up, they start talking, and then you just wanna knock ’em out!
–Jackson Heights
Female bartender: I forgot to tell you, I hired a new bartender. She will be here tonight.
Male bartender: Oh. Is she cute?
Female bartender: Well… She’s Asian.
Male bartender: Oh. Asian Asian or cute Asian?
Female bartender: Ehhh… you know.
–Broadway Theater
Patron: Do these stairs go up?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Maura
Drunk White Sox fan to passerby: Hey, what time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: giovanna
Dude at the next table: Is Long Island really an island?
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yes, he really just said that
(girl sees poster for Army Wives and turns to friend)
Girl: I don’t get that show. Are they married to army dudes or something?
–C Train
Southern lady: Empire State ReBuilding? Does that mean they’re moving it?
–33rd & 5th
Overheard by: Katie Mainc
Old man: I drink three Cokes a day!
Lady: Three Cokes! You’re in bad shape!
Old man: *I’m* in bad shape? I am 90 years old!
Lady: But Coke is bad for you! It’s full of chemicals that will mess up your biology!
Old man: Are you a biologist?
Lady: (after a long pause) Yes.
Old man: Okay then. Bye.
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Bemused
(crazy woman talking to self)
Guy sitting next to her: Sorry, did you say something?
Crazy woman: No, I have an ear piercing.
Guy: Oh, in the other ear?
Crazy woman: No, this one (points to the ear closest to him). It’s all the way inside my ear. It’s Australian.
–Jane St & Greenwich Ave
Global teacher, about review packet: You must look at my package in order to see what’s there!
–History Class, Bronx HS of Science
Overheard by: Lillian
Woman in business suit on cell: Yeah, work is crazy right now because I have a big release coming out next week. (pauses) That’s what he said.
–26th & Park
Overheard by: absnola
Lady in the audience: Which one is Patti LuPone?
–St. James Theater
Dorky older guy to female bank teller (smiling): I’ve got a really big deposit for you.
(teller looks down and starts laughing)
–Chase Bank, 24th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe
Timid Asian deli boy to deli owner: Excuse me, I don’t know how to do number two.
–Deli, Union Square
Black waiter to Asian female customer: Enjoy your black balls.
–Ninja, Hudson St
