(drunk guy attempts to do a split in the middle of the train car)
Woman: Oh wow, that's much better than I could've done.
Drunk guy: I will kill you.
–R Train
Overheard by: jangbang
(drunk guy attempts to do a split in the middle of the train car)
Woman: Oh wow, that's much better than I could've done.
Drunk guy: I will kill you.
–R Train
Overheard by: jangbang
Excited woman #1: Oh my god, how's your brother?
Excited woman #2: He's doing great, he just gave birth!
Excited woman #1: (shrieking) congratulations!
–29th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: voidoid
(a little black boy is skipping away from his group)
Middle aged black lady: Yeah, you skip Cosmo!
Nerdy 13-year-old white boy: Yeah, skip to your own fuckin' loo, motherfucker!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Blonde tourist (after swiping futilely a few times): How do I swipe this?
New Yorker (looks at card in tourist's hand): That's not a Metrocard, that's your room key.
–E Train
Overheard by: Laura
Chick on cell: In the past three weeks, I've been to more tranny-hosted parties than non-tranny hosted parties.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Mini-Asian teen: Well he's not a real man in the sense that he has a penis, or like, male reproductive organs.
–6 Train
Loud woman: I can't tell whether he's a lesbian or just gay.
–Bamboo 52
Overheard by: Aidan
Angry man: Suck my pussy dick!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Black woman to group of friends, after watching an attractive black man walk by: Mmmmm, he so fine! I wanna stick my dick up that ass!
–Duane Reade
Bum on subway: (singing) when I go into space, I'ma take a stripper wit' me!
(woman puts a dollar bill in his cup)
Bum: I'ma take a trannie too, but the trannie cost extra!
(man puts a dollar in his cup)
Bum: La dee da!
–L Train from Williamsburg
Teenage hipster to friend: Oh look, it's the Hannah Montana lip gloss I stole from a little kid!
–Uptown F Train
Overheard by: Joy
Big thug: Hey man, I'm not gonna even lie: selling candy on the train keeps me from robbing and stealing from most of ya on the train today… Hook a nigga up!
–2 Train
Overheard by: Cashiem Evans (da mad blogger)
Schoolgirl dressing down another: You took the whole backpack? Why didn't you just take what you needed to steal and leave the bag there?
–DeKalb & Clermont, Clinton Hill
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Lady on cell: So you know what happened? He stole my deodorant, and you know what was under it? My hundred dollars!
–Metro-North, 125th St Station
Overheard by: That must be some expensive deodorant
Woman yelling into cell: Don't rob them, they're Danish!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Tina
Female coworker: I would pay for it.
Male coworker: You are paying for it, they're just not putting it in.
–16th & 5th
Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl
Long Island lady #1: Okay. I get what he's doing now. I'm moving on to the landscapes. Join me when you're done.
Long Island lady #2 (still entranced): Um. Yes. Yes, I'm done too.
–Nude Room, Gustave Courbet Exhibit, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Colleen
Drunk black guy #1: That’s when I started cooking with weed. The Jamaicans told me you can cook with it.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black guy #1: I made chicken soup with that shit. I had soupy chicken weed. I was high as fuck.
Drunk black guy #2: Yeah?
Drunk black woman: You ever had weed fishcakes? Weed fishcakes. I make that shit.
Drunk black guy #2: Fishcakes?
Drunk black woman: And pork fried weed.
Drunk black guy #1: I want to come to your parties. You creative.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Unrelenting Monkey
(spectators gather behind a wall of paparazzi taking pictures)
Tourist woman: Who is that?
Guy #1: David Wright and Willie Randolph.
Tourist woman: Who are they?
Guy #1: Baseball players.
Tourist woman: Ooooh. Which team?
Guy #1: The Mets.
Tourist woman: Oh. Honey! It’s just the Mets, let’s go.
Guy #2 (with Mets hat): Hey! Fuck you!
–43rd & Broadway
Overheard by: am
