20-something black dude looking at line for Godiva: I fuckin' hate Valentine's Day!
White dude: Yeah!
–Maden Lane & Nassau St
20-something black dude looking at line for Godiva: I fuckin' hate Valentine's Day!
White dude: Yeah!
–Maden Lane & Nassau St
(large group of rowdy ghetto teens gets on train, one sits and begins eating a hamburger)
Girl: Yo, why do white people be thinkin' niggas like tomato on they sandwich?
Guy friend: I dunno.
(girl begins throwing lettuce and tomato on the ground)
Old man across the train: You're disgusting!
Girl: Hey, fuck you!
Guy friend: Yo, he just called you disgusting!
Girl: Well, he can kiss my ass!
Guy friend: Them's fightin' words on my block.
Old man, exiting train: Oh, go back to ghetto, you piece of shit!
Girl: That's exactly where we goin', muthafucker!
–6 Train
Overheard by: ahhh, New York
Black guy: Damn! You got a pretty face!
(pretty Latina turns around and ignores him)
Black guy (taking seat halfway down train): Dang! How you going to turn around on me like that?
(pretty Latina ignores him)
Black guy (very loudly): How are you going to turn around like that?
(pretty Latina now looks embarrassed)
Black guy (pulling out guitar from case): This song goes out to the girl with the pretty face! She's over there! With the long hair and the boots!
(people turn and look, pretty Latina looks very embarrassed now)
Black guy (singing to tune of “My Girl”): Come on everyone! Even the white people–join in! (sings) I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of may.
(people start to join in, pretty Latina's friends are cheering and singing)
Black guy (singing): My girl! She's got black boots! The one with the long hair! C'mon girl! If you let me take you home…I'll…I'll…make you some Kool-Aid!
(pretty Latina gets off train)
Black guy: Ah, hell no! (pause). Alright, this one's for the guy with the ball! (pointing to guy with soccer ball under arm) His name's Carlos! He's from Puerto Rico!
–2 Train
Black teen, with I skate NY logo shirt: Hey, hey, what's the line for?
Confused white girl: I don't get your shirt.
Black teen: (amazed silence)
Confused white girl: Ohhh, it's a skateboard!
Black teen: Haha, yeah.
Confused white girl: No, no, I thought it was a…a picture of a guy with a unibrow and no mouth?
Black teen: Hey, lemme see your eyes…you have beautiful eyes.
–Virgin Megastore
White guy, yelling to friends: Yo, where are you going? The train is this way!
Random black guy: It's not the fucking train! It's the fucking subway!
White guy: I live in Queens, I know what it's called.
Black guy: You white people are so fucking stupid. You go into the subway to get on a fucking train!
White girl: Well then it's a train!
Black guy: Fuck you, bitch!
White guy: Don't call her a bitch! You don't even know her!
Black guy, getting in their face: Fuck you, nigga! And fuck her! (pause) Wait…have you guys been drinking?
White guy: Yeah.
Black guy: Never mind, then. I was just fucking around. We cool?
(black and white guys laugh about it, shake hands, go their separate ways)
–Union Square
Overheard by: go rangers!
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, of course he stole my five dollars! It was mine. It was right there.
Straight white hippie: I did not take anything of yours.
Gay black hipster to cop: Officer, who are you gonna believe, him or me? I mean, look at him–he's not even dressed well!
Straight white hippie: Dude, I hope something seriously bad happens to you.
–Union Square Subway Station
Drunk Asian girl to bouncer stamping her hand: What is this? What does this do?
Big black bouncer: It's a stamp.
–Central Bar, Near Astor Place
Overheard by: waiting to get in
Ghetto Thug: Pssss! Nigga woman, you got a mad fine piece of ass. Let me get in that, yo. Check it!
Scared Woman: You wish! Get away from me before I go get that cop over there.
Ghetto Thug: Bitch, I's just payin' you a compliment. Shit!
–Jamaica Station, Sutphin Blvd
Pissing guy on phone: What do you mean you're not going to have sex with me? (entire bathroom laughs hysterically) See! Even these motherfuckers agree with me!
–Bathroom, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Bobby
Dad to young son in bathroom stall: Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Aim in the bowl. Did you aim in the bowl? Did you aim in the bowl? (son comes out of stall) You did! But you didn't flush. One out of two ain't bad.
–Bathroom, Union Square Movie Theater
(constipation grunts and electronic sounds are heard inside next stall)
Guy in next stall, on walkie-talkie: Hey, Tony, turn the walkie-talkie off when you take a shit!
–Men's Room, Hilton Hotel
Drunk white girl: Oh my god, this bathroom is so dark. How am I supposed to see my vagina?
–East Village
Tall black British guy using the urinal, to himself: Repeat aftah me…you are a rock star! Ah! Yeah!
–5th Avenue
Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!
–Nomad Restaurant
Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.
–7 Train
Overheard by: IDigGraves94
Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Annearchist
Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!
–46th & 5th
Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.
–47th St & 9th Ave
Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!
–Broadway & Cedar
Overheard by: mondoman
