Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was alright as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after.
–Midwood High School
Overheard by: the half jewish kid in the corner
Girl #1: Hey are you going to go see The Da Vinci Code?
Girl #2: Yes! My pastor said it was alright as long as I watched The Passion of the Christ right after.
–Midwood High School
Overheard by: the half jewish kid in the corner
Chick: Did you know Craigslist is in like a billion cities but only employs nineteen people?
Guy: That’s not that weird; what would people who work for Craigslist do?
Chick: I dunno…Moderate. Get Craig burritos.
–Williamsburg
Creepster to woman with child entering train: You can sit here. There's no reason to be standing when you have a child with you. (woman sits) Not to sound creepy, but the view was much better when you were standing.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Creeped out.
Black hobo to young white girl: If you and I got together, we could make the next Obama.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Katie
Greasy white suit to hot black chick: My name is Mark, but you can call me "The Vagina Whisperer."
–Moe's Bar. Brooklyn
Guy hitting on four younger girls: I'll take you home and we can do something weird… I'll pour honey all over you. Then I'll put you in the closet and let loose 200 bees in there with you! Or, we could do sexy-weird! I'll pour butter all over you, and I'll make toast, and I'll wipe the butter off your back with it!
–1 Train
Older fat man yelling at attractive young woman: Hey bay! You're beautiful! Look at me! You don't want to say hi? (spreads his arms) Hey, come on, look at me. I'm Tony Baloney.
–Broadway & Hewes, Brooklyn
Teenage boy #1: All I'm saying is it's false advertising. If you suck dick, you should say you suck dick.
Teenage boy #2: But then everyone will think you're a fag.
Teenage boy #3: No, no way. You're telling me that just because I meet a guy whose dick I want to suck, people will think I'm a fag?
–The Loop, Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: octopus
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Girl: So, can you beatbox?
Guy: No, but I can make elephant noises. [Makes elephant noises.]
–Savoia
Older black man: How's you mother?
20-something white man: She died in January.
Older black man: I'm very sorry to hear that.
20-something white man: Thanks. She left me her rent-controlled apartment!
–Montague Street, Brooklyn Heights
Teen girl #1: Okay. Maybe I’m, like, retarded for not knowing this,
but…did you guys know that other countries have national anthems, too?
Teen girl #2: Duh! It’s the same song, in different languages!
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Lysa
Dude, in front of closed Staples: Staples doesn't open until fucking noon? What are we, in a goddamn small town? Noon? Am I supposed to be in fucking church right now? God!
–Meeker St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Simon
Girl on cell: Because I don't function in the world of time so well.
–7th Ave b/w 27th & 28th St
Overheard by: John C
Pilot on PA: JetBlue welcomes you to New York City, where the local time is 1:40… 1:45… Kinda… I think.
–JFK
Law student to another: What time is it in the real world?
–Fordham Law School
Black lady: Where do I submit this form?
Desk clerk: Are you petitioning for child support violation?
Black lady: No! Who do I give this to?!
Desk clerk: Are you petitioning for alimony or other support?
Black lady: No! Now, who the hell do I give this form to?
Desk clerk: Lady, if you’re not petitioning for anything then you don’t submit your form to nobody.
–Family Court, 330 Jay St
Overheard by: Sophia
