Chick #1: Is that the guy you were with last weekend?
Chick #2: Keep your voice down. And please don’t remind me.
Chick #1: Why? He’s not bad.
Chick #2: He’s not even law school hot. I’ve so had to lower my standards for this group.
Chick #1: I’ve just started going out with Jewish guys.
Chick #2: Ugh. Please. We’re only here for another year and a half…I can hold out.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: iiams
Drunk crazy woman (slurring words): Yeah? Well, fuck you!
Drunk crazy dude: Yeah! Well, you haven't given me a boner in four years!
Random passerby: Oh, damn!
–Bedford Ave & 11th
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Guy #1: Hey man, how you been?
Guy #2: Good, man.
Guy #1: What you been up to?
Guy #2: …Sorry man, just spaced out.
Guy #1: That’s cool, I am coked out of my mind right now anyway.
–Cobble Hill
Drunk boy: God, fucking Bedford is so fucking gentrified.
Drunk girl: Go to the Lorimer stop. It’s way better there.
–Bedford Avenue station
Overheard by: Ami
11-year-old girl: Yo mamma's broke cuz she spend all her money on rhinestones and cigarttes!
–Riverside Branch Library
Overheard by: always listening
Polite lady: Go straight down that way and cut through the projects–don't worry, they're mixed income–and you'll see it when you come out on A.
–1st Ave & 5th St.
Overheard by: Mrqs
Old lady waiting for the bathroom: How long do people stay in toilets? Jesus! It's a public toilet! There are all these people from the streets that come in, and they always pee on the floor. Well, that's what happens when you're poor.
–NY Public Library
Overheard by: Avery
Homegirl to friend: So she was like "oh, my name's Diamond. And this is my sister, her name's Ruby. Our daddy named us after stuff he can't afford." I was like, shit, if that was the case, my daddy woulda call us "lights" and "gas."
–Prospect Park
Nerdish teen: What the hell was a warlock doing in a dungeon when he had no money?
–C Train
Overheard by: Andrew
Kid to dad: Order a Margarita so I can have some.
Dad to kid: I don't drink alcohol and you are nine years old!
–Bar, Montegue Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: hungry law student
Fruit stand guy: Too much papaya! Too much marijuana! Too much cocaine!
–Dean & Court, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Zach
Asian girl: You’re not following the diet plan! It’s either junk food or no food!
–Stuyvesant High School
English teacher: We need nine groups. How many people are in there in this class? 26. So that’s nine groups with… Nine times three is 36. Times two is 18. Eight times four is 32. Times three is 24. So eight groups of three with one group of two. Count off. Okay, ones over there, twos over there, threes over there, fours over there, fives… Oh. Guys, why didn’t you catch this? I’m an English teacher for a reason!
Student #1: Why don’t you just group them in threes, like first set of three there…
Teacher: No, I wanted to mix you guys up. Alright, starting over, one to eight.
Student #1: One.
Student #2: Two.
Student #3: Three.
Student #4: One.
–Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Guy #1: Where’s your girl?
Guy #2: She’s at a fuckin’ buffet. She’s eating at a buffet, the fat fuck.
–Brooklyn College
Girl #1, smoking: She was such a lesbian. She made vegetable lasagna. Vegetable lasagna!
Girl #2, in disbelief: Wait–so her culinary choices dictate her sexuality?
Girl #1: Well, then she fingered me.
–Zombie Hut, Smith St
Overheard by: double d
