Skinny gay guy: I think I tweeted about that.
Fat girl: Can we please stop using “tweeted” unless you have, in fact, turned into a bird?
Skinny gay guy: Whatevs! I'm going inside. I have to piddle.
–Graham & Frost, Brooklyn
Skinny gay guy: I think I tweeted about that.
Fat girl: Can we please stop using “tweeted” unless you have, in fact, turned into a bird?
Skinny gay guy: Whatevs! I'm going inside. I have to piddle.
–Graham & Frost, Brooklyn
Long haired guy: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
–Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.
Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…
–Prospect Park
Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: funny
Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!
–5 Train
Overheard by: E.J.
20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.
–1 Train
Elderly woman to Bulldog: If you were human, you would be a male model.
–44th & 3rd
Female on phone, trying to be discrete: I could take a million pictures without makeup and I could make it on the cover of Vogue. I am telling you I just want a model agent to come up to me and say "you are gorgeous, I want you to model." I know I have what it takes!
–Outside Bobst Library
Overheard by: V Liebs
Scrawny short dude: You know, I like the model-type chicks.
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Battery Park city mom, about son: He's not even four and he can earn as much from one commercial as he can from a year of modeling.
–World Trade Centre Plaza
Girl walking around with a camera: People get so awkward when you're carrying around a camera. Come on people! Give me something I can use here! You are all models!
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: apparently a model
Drawing professor: I'm not allowed to sleep with the models.
–Pratt Institute
Building fire safety supervisor, over intercom: Attention! This is your fire safety supervisor. The alarm you are hearing was accidentally triggered by a delivery person on the 18th floor. Repeat, the alarm was accidentally triggered. There is no fire. I will continue to keep you alarmed throughout the day.
–5th & 57th
Overheard by: Paul Tabachneck
MTA worker over intercom: Attention ladies and gentlemen, there is no n or r train service at this station. I repeat: no n or r train service at this station. (repeats this roughly a dozen times) You hear that? No trains. Not even half a train. No. Trains.
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: was hoping there was a chance of a train…
Female announcer, with a little attitude: Attention people standing on the uptown local platform! Why are you standing there? No trains are stopping at that platform; they're all on the express track, like that c train stopping right now.
–34th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: going downtown, thank you
Announcer: We would like to remind all passengers that there is no smoking on MTA platforms. Especially blunts. (guy smoking blunt in station leaves)
–High Street Station
Loudspeaker: Will James please come to the courtesy desk? Your wife is lost.
–Stop 'n' Shop, Staten Island
Overheard by: Emily
Girl ordering patties: I'd like a beef and a veggie patty.
Guy working at patty shop: Before I get those, I want to say you are beautiful. I bet you've heard that five times today.
Girl: Oh, thanks, I've just been working out for an hour. Well, I've been doing yoga.
Guy: Yoga? But you're black!
Girl: Black people do yoga, too!
–Jamaican Pride, Flatbush
Overheard by: Chris R.
Girl: I feel like she's really good at illegal stuff.
–34th & 9th
Overheard by: hellothere
Haggard-looking woman, screaming into cell: What? Now you're gettin' locked up and I am going to fucking prison now! Perfect! (sprints out of store)
–King Kullen, Staten Island
Preteen to another: So when you get arrested and your mom asks you where you were, you weren't with me.
–1st Ave & 16th
Overheard by: Wes Mantooth
Female teen to another: Yeah, that's what my dad got arrested for, too.
–Central Park
Teen boy on cell: I get a lot of shit from authority figures. Especially when I'm getting arrested.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Overheard by: The Man(dy)
