Girl: Hey!
Older guy: Hey! How's your film shoot going?
Girl: Great! I'm almost done!
Random sketch: Be careful not to get any fake blood on your clothes. I know you're wearing all black, but still. (winks)
(no response)
Random sketch: I used to do a lot of coke.
–E 10th & Ave A
Little girl to mother: Look, mommy! The squirrels are black, like the people are!
Mother: Be quiet! That's rude! (to bystanders) She just learned colors in pre-school.
–Bronx Zoo
Bored bus driver: This is Eldar Avenue. Next stop is Kissena boulevard, and for those of you wearing headphones: blah blah blabbity blah.
–Q44
Overheard by: Carolyn S
Animated BoltBus driver: If you're talking on your BlackBerry, your strawberry, or to Halle Berry… Well, in that case, let me know…
–BoltBus
Bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, please continue moving to the rear end of the bus. The sooner you move, the sooner we move. Thank you for your cooperation. (long pause) Those who are cooperating… ladies and gentlemen, please step in. Watch the closing door. It's about to close riiiiight now.
–101 Bus, Harlem
Bus driver: Now the road may get a bit bumpy. Just keep in mind it's not my fault, it's not the bus's fault, it's the asphalt.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Bus driver: On your left you'll see men wearing orange vests, they are volunteers, they are helping their community. (long pause) They entered through the back of the bus or jumped over the turnstiles, and got fined. They couldn't pay the ticket, so the city lets them work it off, only for a day or two, so they don't have to pay the ticket. So don't enter through the back of the bus or jump the turnstiles.
–Q43
Bus driver: Please keep your voices low when using your cell phones. Last week a woman refused to heed that advice, so I stranded her at the first rest stop. That was my mother.
–BoltBus
Overheard by: MilitantLezbian
Young guy: If I see another blue penis it would be too soon!
–42nd St
Overheard by: alecko
Girl on cell: She just bought a merkin… It was pink, you know, to match her hair. (pause) Would you want to rub toxic dye down there?
–Williamsburg
Girl to another: Just because he is wearing a different colored shirt, he's still the same guy.
–Central Park
Flamboyant guy, shouting to girl in very short orange dress: I have that same orange dress in purple!
–South Street Seaport
Overheard by: Green Star
Mother to four-year-old wearing pink shirt and shoes: Not *everything* has to be pink, honey.
–Rite Aid, Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Sunny
Little girl in line at ATM: Mommy, I liked your hair better when it was gold.
Mother: Gold hair is expensive, honey. There's a recession going on. Don't like mommy's new recession color?
Little girl: Not really.
–106 St & 2nd Ave
Guy to friend: Why's everything so dark?
Friend: Because it's night time.
–51st St & Lexington
Crazy older guy to lady in park with barking dog: Lady, you keep that dog quiet! That dog is better-looking than you are.
–W 63rd & West End
Overheard by: Beez and Newb
Guy in red shirt: You make me feel so pedophilic when I tell you about violating my dog.
–Central Park
Man on cell: You're always saying your dog is sick! "My dog has diarrhea! I can't come out!"
–Fulton & Broadway
Overheard by: would you rather she have it?
Black kid to white couple walking poodle: I've only seen dogs like that in movies.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Poodle Lady
Girl on cell: So I'm getting off the a and I see this tall girl and I know her! So I'm like "Sarah?" and she's like "I haven't seen you since middle school!" and she cut all her hair off and she's like "When did you dye your hair black?" and my hair's soooo not black! But I saw Sarah! You know, the one whose cat tried to eat my toes off that one time! So we talked and then there was this lady who was totally tossing chow all over the place! Hello! Trash can right there—hold up, I gotta go, I see a Weiner dog!
–72nd St & Central Park West
Teen girl #1 to friend staring at salad: Babe, they're croutons.
Teen girl #2, slowly looking up at her: But… they're black.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stina
Cashier: What can I get for you?
Black woman: I'd like a bagel, toasted. Can you do that? (cashier looks confused) Ya know, like my skin? Really dark?
Cashier: Uh, sure.
–Bagel Express
Overheard by: can you do it like my skin to?
Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?
–Melrose Ave & 154th St
Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Frank Molla
Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.
–St. Mark's Place
