Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Gay guy, trying on long black fur coat: How do I look?
Girl: Like a gay, Russian, Cruella de Vil.
Random customer: I'm gay and Russian. And I wouldn't wear that.
–Century 21
Straight male employee: How gay do you have to be to shop here?
Gay male customer, overhearing employee: How gay do you have to be to work here?
–Michael's Craft Store, Queens
Customer: I'll have an egg omelet.
Cook: An egg omelet?
Customer: Yeah, one made with eggs.
Cook: Thank god you mentioned eggs. I was about to give you an omelet solely made from butter!
–Grant's Restaurant
Overheard by: AJ
Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!
–Burger Joint, The Village
Man on phone: Well, I got a shirt but it wasn't quite what I was looking for, so I'm gonna go to Whole Foods and get some breadsticks.
–Astor Place
Older, bespectacled white male at table with wife: Motherfuckin' tube socks…
–Jazz Standard, 27th & Park
Overheard by: V
6'6" man (earnestly): Honestly, if I were Hillary, I would never wear a pantsuit! You know what I mean?
–Bellevue Hospital
Overheard by: Ingwall
Cracker: I hate fighting rastas. Man, I really do. It's those hats…you never know what they're hiding in those fuckin' hats!
–Marcy & Broadway
Man: Do you realize you just offended a man carrying an organic tote bag?
–6 Train
Overheard by: wb
Barfly to bartender: Is that your belt or a wrinkle in the fabric of time?
–Thirsty Scholar, 2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jas
Customer: Hi, can I have one tall mocha frappuccino light, one venti skim decaf latte with an extra shot, and one tall iced chai?
Surly barista (under his breath): Oh, that's just great for me.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Lexcar
Fabulous diner ordering coffee: …with half and half.
Waiter: We're a dairy free restaurant, but we have organic whole milk.
–Josie's, 74th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Where's a dictionary?
Starbucks barista (giving out some samples): Hey, would you like to sample our frappuccino?
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Pssh. Nah. That shit don't go good with Hennessy.
Starbucks barista: Oh, okay. Have a good day.
Man with a bottle in a brown paper bag: Wait, sorry. That was fucked up. Do you wanna sample my Hennessy?
–Delancy & Allen, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Genia
(toddler in stroller gleefully tosses mangoes from display on floor)
Older brother: No! Stop it! (picks up mangoes as toddler keeps pushing them off display) Stop! We're not buying those!
(mom looks the other way)
Cashier: Ma'am, your child is dropping the mangoes.
Mom: I know.
Cashier: But..
Mom: I know, my son's rude.
Cashier: But the other customers…
Mom: He does this all the time, you should come to my house and
see what he does.
–Gourmet Garage, 96th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Mark
Man at McDonald's drive-Thru: I'll have a #1 with a Diet Coke please.
Employee: Anything else?
Man: Nope, that's it. And this is all to go.
Employee: Ya think?
–McDonald's, Bayside
