Gay or foreign guy #1: But it has sentimental value to you. So you can say, “I have this memory.”
Gay or foreign guy #2: But that's not why I have the picture of Mario Lopez.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Gay or foreign guy #1: But it has sentimental value to you. So you can say, “I have this memory.”
Gay or foreign guy #2: But that's not why I have the picture of Mario Lopez.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Frenchman: What's up, dude?
Girl: So I see your roommate is rubbing off on you!
Frenchman (horrified): What? No. No. No.
Girl (laughing): It's a figure of speech.
–5th Ave
Old man: Hah! I fell asleep at her funeral!
–3rd Ave, b/w 10th & 11th
Overheard by: j
Man to woman: Hey you! You were in my dream last night. You, myself and a bunch of people in the office were having an orgy on a mattress right in front of our office. At first it was great, but then it became awkward because people kept walking into the office and we got in their way.
–34th St & 6th Ave
Man with French accent on cell: Do we have room for her, or will she have to sleep in the dungeon?
–32nd & Broadway
Overheard by: LC
(guy is woken up by a friend after falling asleep on the train)
Guy: You dude, why you wake me up! I was having the best dream. There was shorties everywhere. There was shorties in trees and shit!
–2 Train
Conductor: For all of you running late, we are being delayed by another train with the emergency break on. Or you could tell ’em you just slept in today.
–D Train
Overheard by: blistexaddict
(man and woman arguing with a foreigner)
Foreigner: How many passenger?
Man: Two.
Foreigner: Three?
Man: No, two.
Foreigner: Three?
Man: Two! Two! (holds up two fingers) Me and her! (points to the woman)
Foreigner: Ah. Three!
Man: Jesus fucking Christ, where did you come from?
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Angie
Tourist to doorman, in thick German accent: Excuse me, can you point me to the nearest Hooters?
–53rd St
Overheard by: jillcorp
Tourist taking a picture of her uncooperative teenage daughter: Shut up and pose, or I’m going to pee right on this yard.
–Central Park
Tourist about to take picture with lens cap on: Oh, shoot! Hold on, I have to take the lens cap off or else the picture is going to be really dark!
–Grand Central Terminal
Tourist girl: I don’t get it, there’s so many suits here, I thought Union Square would be full of hippies.
–City Hall Park
Tourist on cell: So far, I’ve experienced coldness and evil.
–57th & 8th
Overheard by: Lag
Large black woman with large black turban: I am a full blooded Navajo Indian, I have the right to be here on this sidewalk!
Cop she’s arguing with: Well, wait a minute. You just said you were going home to Ethiopia. How the hell can you be a Navajo?
–6th Ave b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: Ben Goldman
20-something girl: I thought you said this walk was only fifteen minutes?
Eastern European guy: This is a walk of shame! Walk of shaaaame.
20-something girl (looking sad): That isn’t what this is, is it?
–Dunkin Donuts, Nostrand and Lafayette
Overheard by: Kire
Jamaican man on cell: First there is the white people, then comes the animals, then comes me!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Cog-in-the-wheel
White hipster: Don’t let the white man bring you down!
–N. 6th & Bedford Ave
Black man, yelling at UGG-wearing Fordham student passing by: White girls get loving, too. But, not with those boots!
–E. Fordham Rd & Bathgate Ave
Guy with rosary: Yo, that girl used to be so bad. Now she’s hanging out with white people and playing croquet. Or whatever that shit is.
–North Woods, Central Park
Cute black girl: Damn! White girls be steppin’ it up! They got booties now and everything!
–106th & Broadway
British girl #1: I’m hungry.
British girl #2: You know, we should eat at McDonald’s.
British girl #1: Are you for serious?
British girl #2: No, it was just jokesies.
British girl #1: Well, it was not funny, Angeline!
–Times Square
