Girl to friend walking ahead of her: Wait for me! Don't leave me behind, you're so mean!
Friend: No, I am not.
Police officer, walking by: Yes, you are!
–The Bronx
Overheard by: Emm
Sick cop to another: The way I see it, you've got seven holes in your head. If you don't wanna get sick, you just gotta keep your fingers out of those seven holes. Then you'll be good.
–ER, Saint Vincent Hospital
Overheard by: Dustin
Old-school pimp on cell: I'm sick. (pause) Naw, baby, I just want you to bring me some money and chicken soup.
–96th & Columbus Ave
Woman on phone: Yeah, I'm doing really well. I just have some cancerous issues. But other than that, I'm great!
–East Village
Overheard by: Erin
Woman to friend: So I was worried I had a urinary tract infection or something, even though it didn't hurt when I was peeing. But it turns out it was just a pube stuck in my clit.
–R Train
Overheard by: what the hell?
Guy to friend: So, I finally got athlete's foot.
–116th & Broadway
Chick to guy friend: Well, if you hadn't spent the entire morning cursing out yo momma, then you wouldn't had gotten swine flu!
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Amused Freshman
Hippie girl on cell: Hey, mom! How are you? (pause) Not so good, actually, my bloodwork just came back and I have Lyme disease! (pause) I know…it's like 70 degrees here!
–42nd & Park Ave
Overheard by: AwkwardTwig
Guy to friend: So, Kirsten's cute.
Friend: I only like her in her leggings.
–NYU
Overheard by: yomama
Texting teenager: Is there two “L”s in “Fordham”?
Teenager's friend: Uhh…just one, I think.
–N Train
Girl: Oh, so new thing: if I smoke with my left hand, that will make me more ambidextrous.
Friend: No.
–43rd St & 6th Ave
Girl to friend: I helped a tourist the other day. That's not me, I'm a bitch.
Hobo, eavesdropping : Yeah, you are.
Girl: What?
Hobo: You're a bitch.
–Union Square
Hipster to texting friend: You get service on the train?
Cute girl: I get service everywhere…
(they stare at each other awkwardly)
–Uptown 1 Train
British tourist, passing by The Pink Tea Cup Southern restaurant: Oh, look–an urban menu!
–Bleecker & Grove
Young Asian tourist girl: You mean, there's not actually any fields?
–Strawberry Fields
Overheard by: Jason K.
Tourist, in thick Southern accent: I just don't understand how they turn the trains around so fast, and we don't see them do it!
–Grand Central Station, Shuttle Train
Overheard by: Sara
Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody's wearin' shoes!
–33rd St & 6th Ave
Elderly tourist being escorted to her seat: Oh! I hope we get a booth!
–Olive Garden
Overheard by: EthanK
Tourist to friend: No, we cannot go into a store. I cannot leave Broadway. How else would you expect me to get discovered?
–Time Square
Hot Latina: He doesn't look like someone I'd want to fuck. But neither does my boyfriend… Well, depending on what he's wearing.
–3rd Ave & 46th St
Overheard by: SillyUrn
Girl to friend: If my boyfriend ever asked me to do that, I would get a new boyfriend, preferably the blow-up one that I already have in my bed.
–Dorm, NYU
Overheard by: amused
Girl in leopard print pajamas: My boyfriend is the voice on Dora the Explorer. Name dropped.
–Elevator, NYU
Overheard by: babaganoush the great
Teen boy on cell: Hi, Lisa, it's Matt. Sarah and I were just talking about how much you love tools, so I went to Home Depot today and picked you up a new boyfriend.
–N Train
Overheard by: SueCity
Yuppie to friends: So my boyfriend called me last night and asked me, "Hey, do you even know my name?" and I said, "Well…no."
–1 Train
Overheard by: yams
Girl to friend: She's been out ice skating with her sister for two hours…how the hell does a five-year-old ice skate for three hours?
Friend: I know, right? Kids are like hamsters.
–John St
