Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles

Posted on July 14, 2015
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Families, Ferry, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Private Parts, Queer guys, Questions, Rack, Sexuality, Staten Island Ferry, Surgery, Teens, Trannies, Vagina, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

Been There. True Story.

Cabaret host to singer: So what's your story?
Male singer, pointing to co-host: Well, actually, I made out with this one once.
Male co-host: Oh my god! I was just in back, trying to figure out if I made out with you and if it was appropriate to ask!

–7th & Christopher

Posted on July 14, 2015
Coworkers, Gays and Lesbians, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Musicians, Questions, Weirdness, West Village

Not as Gay as Their Lame Material

Comedy Club guy: Hey, do you girls want to come to a great comedy show?
Girl: No thanks.
Comedy Club guy: Oh, no, not with me. I’m gay.

–Penn Station

Posted on July 12, 2015
Comedians, Gays and Lesbians, Penn Station

WednesDEA One-Liners

Loud guy: Hey! Illegal drugs, anyone? Illegal drugs? I want to buy some illegal drugs!

–6th Ave & 34h St

Overheard by: Emily

College girl to friend: Remember that time when you slept with that drug trafficker?

–33rd & 3rd

Man in restaurant: After the roofies I took I was a total mess, it was amazing.

–23rd & 10th

Overheard by: Matt

Man to friend holding Diet Coke: Do you remember when they had this at that gay bathhouse I had to go to because my drug dealer was there?

–Duane Reade

Dude, about crowd: I'm so glad we dropped acid before coming here.

–Trader Joe's, Union Square

Overheard by: Kat

Loud girl on cell: She can't just call you up and like, reminisce and be like, "remember when we loved each other?" Oh, and I don't even want to talk about the conversation we had this morning. There's no excuse to do acid!

–Wagner College

Posted on July 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Crime and Punishment, Drinks, Druggies, Drugs, Duane Reade, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hard Drugs, Love, Medicine, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Questions, Sex, Sorority Girls, Store, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Which Requires a Strong Core

Queer: I do Pilates now!
Girl: Jesus Christ, you are such a homo.

–Bryant Park

Posted on July 8, 2015
Bryant Park, Comebacks, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Queer guys, Sports

And Pro-Life

Lesbian #1: Oh my god, you so don't even have any Republican friends!
Lesbian #2: Yes I do…what about John?
Lesbian #1: He's not your friend. He just flirts with you on Gchat.
Lesbian #2: Oh my god, he so doesn't. He's had a girlfriend for three years. (pause) Plus, he's gay.

–East Village

Posted on July 5, 2015
Chat, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Lesbians, Politics, Questions, Union Square and East Village

Now I Know My Wednesday One-Liners, Next Time Won’t You Wednesday One-Liner With Me?

Little boy singing to mother: E is for druggies!

–R Train

Overheard by: Allegra

Crazy hobo: Take the V train! V is for vasectomy. Why take the crowded E train where all the lesbians will crush you?

–V Train Platform

Overheard by: Tom

Conductor: This is 14th Street. Transfer here for the L as in "lower level of hell".

–F Train

Overheard by: So True

Little boy playing with chopsticks: Look mom! (forms a V) V for Victoria! (forms an X) X for xylophone! (forms a T) and T for terrorist!

–Japanese Restaurant, 3rd & 25th

Conductor over loudspeaker: I know it’s Saturday afternoon and all you people are mad confused because the trains are all messed up on weekends, so listen up: The W as in "Will you marry me?" will be running on the Q as in "cookie" line. And the R as in (goes in operatic singing voice) "rooooooooooomeooooooooooo" will be running normally for the rest of the weekend. Alright y’all… There you go. Enjoy your Saturday!

–Canal Street Subway Station

Overheard by: stfo

Posted on July 4, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, Hobos, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Restaurants & Cafes, Soho, Subway conductors, Terrorism, Words

Wednesday One-Liners for Chuck Bass

Gay guy to passersby: Spare an asshole for a gay man?

–Union Square

Man to woman: It's not that I'm an asshole; I just don't want to be seen with you.

–Bar, Upper West Side

Overheard by: Eric

Hipster chic: You could fit a globe in your asshole, it's so big.

–Bedford Ave & 3rd St, Williamsburg

Overheard by: letthemusicplayy

Woman, answering cell: Hey, asshole!

–Rite Aid, Grand Central

Posted on July 4, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Height, Hipsters, Insults, Men, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Queer guys, Strangers, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg, Women

Think I Can Put That on My Acting Resume?

Gay man: You know how when the cops come to arrest some guy in the middle of the night, there's always some screaming woman in bed with him?
Girl: Yeah?
Gay man: I was that woman!

–Butler Library, Columbia University

Posted on July 4, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Library, Queer guys, Sex, Weirdness

…Let Me Get One of Those Straight-People Double-Ended Dildos…

Man to confused ladies turning around to exit porn shop: We have straight stuff too!
Women, re-entering store: Oh! In that case…

–Chelsea

Headline by: Paul Tabachneck

Runners-Up:
· “All Our Dildos Are Unisex…” – Jacques
· “But You’ll Need to Enter the Store Via the Front Door” – Zorak
· “Do You Have Any Dildos Shaped Like Clay Aiken?” – Clay got a bitch preggers…
· “I’ll Take 600 Of Your Finest, Blackest Dildos, Please.” – porter
· “Ironically, It’s In the Rear.” – Allison
· “ItÂ´s In the Back Behind the Curtain” – Deek

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 2, 2015
Dildos and Vibrators, Gays and Lesbians, Headline Contest Winners, Men, Offers and requests, Porn, Sexuality, Shopping, Women

Gays and Lesbians