Well, Lesbian Pretty, Anyway.

Stuy guy: So the other day, one of my girlfriends saw me walking on the street with you, and that night she IMed me on AIM and—I think she's a lesbian but I'm not sure–she said “so I saw you walking with some pretty Asian girl today…” and…
Stuy girl: Wait what's her name?
Stuy guy: Antoinette.
Stuy girl: Oh. Did you give her my number?
Stuy guy: (inaudible)
Stuy girl: That's gonna be awkward because I'm already juggling like three other lesbians right now.
(a minute later)
Stuy girl: Awww! I'm pretty!

–Downtown 2 Train

Posted on July 13, 2009
Beauty, Gays and Lesbians, Names, On the Subway, Students

A Gay Guy Would Just Do It

Man: If I call you “honey” it's sexual harassment. If he says it, it's okay because he's gay.
Woman: “Honey” is nothing when you keep asking to feel my boobs.

–47th St & Broadway

Posted on July 11, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Harassment, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Rack, Women

F4F Wednesday One-Liners

Fat, hairy hipster guy: I don't know, but somehow, lesbians are always a little in love with me.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: I'm sure, dude.

Fanboy-looking dad to 10-year-old son: Well, if there is a lesbian headquarters, it's probably, um…

–Prospect Park

Barnard freshman: The way I dress people think I'm a lesbian.

–Barnard College

Overheard by: funny

Young Latina to another: That's not being a lesbian, that's being nasty!

–5 Train

Overheard by: E.J.

20-something to another: She looks like Sherlock Holmes crossed with a lesbian.

–1 Train

Posted on July 1, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Dads, Fat People, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Kids, Latinos, Love, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Physical appearance, Students, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Ever Feel Like There's Less Mystery in the Gay Dating Scene?

Drunk guy #1: Don't take this the wrong way, but I really want to take you home tonight.
Drunk guy #2: How am I supposed to take that?
Drunk guy #1, seriously: In the ass.

–F Train

Posted on June 30, 2009
Ass, Backdoor, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Wishes & desires

The Prelude to the Greatest Romance Of Our Time

Gay man: You know, I have finally come to accept my sexuality.
Woman: Oh, that's good!
Gay man: I'm not even afraid to tell the world: Hey everyone! I like men!
Overhearing hobo, with a hopeful smile: Hey! Me too!

–Times Square

Overheard by: hobos are around at the strangest times

Posted on June 27, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Hobos, Homeless, Queer guys, Sexuality, Times Square, Weirdness, Women

Wednesday One-Liners: Unclean! Unclean!

20-something female on cell: But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.

–23rd St & 5th Ave

Customer, after placing order: …with hardboiled eggs.
Gay waiter: Hardboiled eggs smell like dirty assholes, an I've seen a few dirty assholes.

–Denny's

Overheard by: student-19

Preppy guy on cell: No, dude! I don't know, like…like really dirty girls.

–86th & Lexington

Overheard by: Anne

12-year-old boy to mother: The bum, you know! The dirty man that plays with me.

–Forest Parkway

Overheard by: Jason A

Guy dancing on new lawn: This isn't even good grass! It's dirty, yo!

–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn

Posted on June 24, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Baristas, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cleanliness, College, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Homeless, Moms, On Cell, Preppies, Queens, Queer guys, Restaurants & Cafes, Robbing the Cradle, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Tweens, Upper East Side, Weed, Weirdness, Words

Wednesday One-Liners (No Homo)

Professor: Let's take a poll: who thinks I am gay?

–Lehman College

Flamboyant gay guy to butch gay guy: You, like, sneeze glitter. That's how gay you are!

–9th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: TR

Daughter to sobbing mother: Mom! Seriously, stop! I'm going to slap you. (mom continues sobbing) I'm not gay! Relax, okay?

–New Utrecht High School

Overheard by: Straight girl

Tween girl to friend: He's 17 years old and he doesn't have any kids? What? Is he gay?

–A Train

Teenage boy: Even if it's with a girl, it's still gay.

–L Train

Overheard by: Sean

Posted on June 24, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, College, Family Ties, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Queer guys, Questions, School and studying, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Teens, The Village, Threats, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

You Wouldn't Even Take One for the Team?

Guy#1: Dude, I asked you to do one thing: help me out and distract her friend.
Guy#2: Maybe you didn't notice, but her friend was a guy.
Guy#1: Yeah, and…
Guy#2: I am not gay!
Guy#1: Really?

–Mott St

Posted on June 23, 2009
Chinatown, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Offers and requests

Wait, Don't Spoil It for Me!

Girlfriend: What's the movie Milk about?
Boyfriend: Gay guy.

–Video Store, Astoria

Posted on June 21, 2009
Astoria, Boyfriends, Film, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Questions, Store

…Albeit a Queer One.

Woman #1, watching New York City Gay Men's Chorus rehearse Single Ladies: Does anyone know what this is?
Woman #2: This is a New York moment!

–Symphony Space

Posted on June 18, 2009
Gays and Lesbians, Only in New York, Questions, Singing, Theater, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Gays and Lesbians