Yelling hobo to 20-something women: Do you love Jesus?! Jesus loves you!
Woman #1: No… apparently he doesn't. We're lesbians.
Yelling hobo: Lesbians?! Does your mama know?! Does your mama know you're a faggot?
Woman #2: Uuuh… her's mom's a lesbian, too.
Yelling hobo: What!? What would Jesus think of this?
Woman #1: Actually, Jesus is in my stomach!
–53rd & 9th
Gay guy #1 to girl: I only say these things to you because I'm your best friend.
Gay guy #2: Bitch! I'm her best friend!
Girl: Great. Now you guys are totally going to fight for me.
Gay guy #1: I will fuck him up right here. That's how much I love you.
–14th St & 9th Ave
Gay man: How long have you been together?
Girl #1: No, we're best friends!
Gay man: Okay, then which of you is straight and which of you is the dyke?
Girl #2: We're both straight!
Gay man: So you both like dick? Well, that is a wonderful thing to like.
–Great Lawn, Central Park
History geek: You laugh, but where would you be without the 18th century? The 20th century, not the 21st, that's where.
–New York Historical Society
Overheard by: Emily B.
Little boy looking at book about Presidents: I see John F. Kennedy, and I see Abraham Lincoln, and I see… what's his name? Hilary's wife?
–BookCourt, Brooklyn
20-something girl: There's this guy in my class who's like an Indian. But, I keep reading these things about how we were so horrible to the Indians and how there are none left, so where did he come from? Like, if there are none left, where did he come from?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Beth!
Woman to daughter: You know what Henry VIII ruled with? He ruled with his dick!
–Penn Station
Teenage girl on cell, yelling: Victorian era lesbians! Not Edwardian! Lesbians weren't nearly hot enough in the Edwardian era! Yeah, we should probably watch it together.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: I really hope it's porn
Gay man, getting off plane, to gay flight attendant: Hey, it's great to see you again!
Female flight attendant: Have you been here recently?
Gay flight attendant: Hell no, girl. I haven't been here in forever. I don't know who the fuck that man is.
–LaGuardia Airport
12-year-old boy to older brother, as they leave the theater: I liked that! I loved the ending! What'd you think!?
Older brother, shrugging: Eh, it was okay, I guess.
12-year-old boy: No! It was great! I was really rooting for the wicked witch!
Older brother: Dude, you're so queer.
–Wicked Theatre
Professor: My name is John, but some people call me Godzilla!
–Baruch College
Overheard by: Nas T. Pezz
Middle school student to friend: Nike was probably invented by a guy named like Nathaniel Ike. Get it? N. Ike.
–Marymount School
White woman on cell: So do I call you Wayne? Weezy? Lil?
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: kdice
Thug to another: What?! Upstate?! Nigga, no no no! Hell no! I ain't trustin no nigga named Chad. Who the fuck names a nigga Chad?
–F Train
Man on cell: Aw, come on! You shittin' me. Ain't no muthafucka named "gay-org!"
–5th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: manhattman
Teen girl on cell: My name is "princess," not "yo!"
–B61 Bus, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tastypaper
Conductor: This is Carrol Street, named after my ex-wife, Carrol Garden. She was great.
–F Train
Gay guy to friend: I woke up this morning with a condom hanging out my butt. Was that you?
–Madison Square Park
Gay 30-something: Ugh, Borat quotes are like the UGG boot of conversation.
–Broadway & Spring
Really gay guy to friend: You don't know about the Holy Trinity? It's Liza, Judy and Barbra!
–Fort Washington Ave. & 183rd St
Overheard by: RED
Flamboyant gay: My hair's too straight. I need to gay it up a bit.
–Bryant Park
Flamboyant guy: My life in New York has been more fabulous than I ever thought! I almost hit Elaine Stritch with a car this weekend!
–W 18th St
Overheard by: Dan Friedman
Gay boy: So have you guys ever had sex with someone you didn't want to?
Girl: Yes.
Gay boy: Like, they're fucking you and you're just laying there…
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: mezza
Stuy guy: So the other day, one of my girlfriends saw me walking on the street with you, and that night she IMed me on AIM and—I think she's a lesbian but I'm not sure–she said “so I saw you walking with some pretty Asian girl today…” and…
Stuy girl: Wait what's her name?
Stuy guy: Antoinette.
Stuy girl: Oh. Did you give her my number?
Stuy guy: (inaudible)
Stuy girl: That's gonna be awkward because I'm already juggling like three other lesbians right now.
(a minute later)
Stuy girl: Awww! I'm pretty!
–Downtown 2 Train
