Wednesday One-Liners Don't Know How to Quit You

Tough guy on cell: Yeah, I was at the gay bah. It was two for ones. Whaddayou gonna do? Two for ones!

–Houston & Avenue A

Homeless man in subway station: Gay sex was invented to avoid child support.

–53rd St Subway Station

Overheard by: Billy

Woman on cell: Let me tell you something about this new generation of guys in New York: All gay.

–W 31st & Broadway

Overheard by: A passing gay man

Woman to husband: Not just a gay, but a heroin sheep gay.

–Broadway & 8th

Overheard by: TR

Cop to drunk: Who cares if you're gay? That doesn't give you the right to climb the fire escape.

–W 20th

Posted on January 7, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Couples, Crime and Punishment, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Heroin, Hobos, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

I Mean, That Would Be Unseemly

Jersey chick: I mean, what do I do? He is like all over me but wont have sex with me. What do I do?
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: I think you should just say, “fuck me or you're gay!” I mean, that's what I would do.
Jersey chick: I just don't get it, you know. And seriously, he is the hottest guy I've ever made out with, like hotter than anyone I've ever made out with.
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: I mean seriously, just say, “fuck me or you're gay. If you don't fuck me, you are gay.” that's what I would do.
Jersey girl: But he can't be gay, he's too hot.
Girl peeing in bathroom stall: But there are a lot of hot guys who are gay. It's probably because he's so hot.
Jersey girl: I just don't know what to do. He like comes up to me and is dancing with me and telling me to come home with him. But like, I don't know what to do. I mean, I'm from Jersey! I live in Jersey, I can't just stay with him, can I?
Girl comes out from peeing in bathroom stall: I don't know dude.

–Bar, Park Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Shawn

Posted on January 5, 2009
B & T, Bars & Clubs, Dancing, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Sex

Rebecca

Rican tough tween chick #1: What about Rebecca?
Rican tough tween chick #2: I hear she a lesbian.
Rican tough tween chick #3: A lesbian?
Rican tough tween chick #2: Yeah, she likes girls.
Rican tough tween chick #1 (laughing): Fuck that shit. Who wants to like girls?

–Bergenline Jitney, Newark Avenue, Jersey City

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Posted on January 2, 2009
Ew, Jersey, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Puerto Ricans, Questions, Stupidity, Tweens

Which Is Why So Many Have Cropped Hair

Man: Lesbians aren't born. They're grown.

–Luxia, . 48th St

Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson

Posted on December 27, 2008
Gays and Lesbians, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sexuality

“Hello? Pot to Kettle Here. You're Wednesday One-Liners.”

Loud, obnoxious man: I hate loud, obnoxious people!

–Nomad Restaurant

Girl with brutal Long Island twang: It's just, like, if you have a Boston accent, you sound, like, so unintelligent. Like, less intelligent than other people, even if you're smart. The accent makes you sound dumb.

–7 Train

Overheard by: IDigGraves94

Angry black woman: Fuck you! I'm a lady!

–Herald Square

Overheard by: Annearchist

Flamboyantly gay man on the phone: Mom, I hate you, stop being such a faggot!

–46th & 5th

Suit on cell: Yeah? Well, she's a bitch and deserves to die. You wanna know why? Because she's ugly and she talks bad about people.

–47th St & 9th Ave

Tourist chick carrying a Starbucks coffee and three shopping bags to friend: We are the type to visit Wall Street and say capitalism is bullshit!

–Broadway & Cedar

Overheard by: mondoman

Posted on December 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Death, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Skank with Universal Appeal

Guy #1: Shit! I wanna tea-bag that skank.
Guy #2: I know!
Guy #2's girlfriend: Me too, definitely.

–Duane Reade

Posted on December 22, 2008
Duane Reade, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Guys, Promiscuity, Sex, Weirdness

And He Barely Has Any Open Sores on His Face

Surprised Teen, after a lengthy conversation between her friend and guy friend: He's gay?
Friend: Mmmhmm…
Surprised Teen: Can't be! He's soooo nice!

–Penn Station

Posted on December 21, 2008
Beauty, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Penn Station, Stupidity, Teens

Gayer Than Marcus Brody's Relationship with Indy's Dad?

Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!

–Toys R Us, Times Square

Overheard by: Tim

Posted on December 19, 2008
Gays and Lesbians, Kids, Movies, Store, Times Square

Duck I'd Like To Fry?

Hot gay ginger: Ooh! Look at how yummy these grapes look!
Cute half-Asian: Not as yummy as that dilf outside…

–Dean & Deluca

Overheard by: reid r.

Headline by: Myrtle Willoughby

Runners-Up:
· “And So Grape Nuts Were Born” – DRS
· “How to Toss a Half-Asian Salad” – jeffreydanna@gmail.com
· “It’s Official: Gay Men Are the New Teenage Girls.” – Steve
· “Some People Just Prefer Bananas” – Hot gay ginger
· “That’s Why They Call It the Fruit Section.” – Jesse

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on December 18, 2008
Asians, Dean & Deluca, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Headline Contest Winners, MILF, Queer guys

Wednesday One-Liners, Actually

Homeless guy hugging another: I love you, old school! You got a cigarette?

–14th St & 8th Ave

Drunk, fighting with another and punching phone booth: I will fuck you up, man! I love you, man!

–E 11th St & 9th Ave

Sloppy drunk dial outside gay club: I love you so fuckin much, mom…like…*more* than Anna Nicole!

–Valda, Gay Bar, NYC

Female NYU student: You don't love Joe Biden as much as I do. Dude, Joe Biden is awesome! He should be gay!

–Tisch Hall, NYU

Overheard by: Blair

Guy leaning against light post, to girlfriend: Listen, I love you…but you're so fucking mean.

–47th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: J&J

Posted on December 17, 2008
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Love, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, Offers and requests, One-liners, Politics, Relationships, Smoking, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village

Gays and Lesbians