Rocker chick: Is that a band name?
Rocker guy: What? ‘Moldy Anus’? No, but it would be a good name for one.
–Queens Blvd, Elmhurst
Overheard by: devotchka
Straight girl: Oooohhh, you know who has the best tits? Isabella Rossellini. Great, great tits.
Gay guy: Oh, you're right! I didn't even think of her.
Straight girl: I don't know how someone her age can have tits that great.
Gay guy: Yeah, if your tits are half that good when you turn her age, you should die a happy woman.
Lesbian: Dear god, why are we talking about Isabella Rossellini's tits on the subway? For that matter, why are we talking about them anywhere?!
–N Train
NYU guy to pal: If you could pick any five girls, and one of them had to be Tom Cruise…
–St. Mark’s & 3rd
Overheard by: Lexey
Man: If Leonard Cohen were a hamster, I’d kill him.
–Freddy’s Bar, Brooklyn
Hobo: Donald Trump is my cousin, but he doesn’t know it because I came out black.
–Museum Mile
Teen girl on cell: Hey, I just read that Brad and Angelina decided to adopt their next kid from Vietnam. You totally have a shot… No, seriously, you should apply. I mean, I guess you’d have to try out and stuff, but it’d so be worth it.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Whitehall St
Skinny black goth girl: Am I gay, or am I Paris Hilton?!
–Cardozo High School
MTA elevator operator to another: You don’t have to be forgiven. Clint Eastwood taught us that.
–1 train station elevator, 168th St
Overheard by: martin gehrke
Guy on cell in line: Yeah, she’s messing around with Michael Jordan and shit! You do not want your lady messing around with Michael Jordan!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: dutchman
Chick #1: Would you ever get your pubic hair chemically straightened?
Chick #2: No, I wouldn’t let Chinese people touch my vagina.
–A train
Overheard by: Francesca
Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl #1: I bet you don't even know who invented the light bulb.
Girl #2: I do, too! It was Alexander Graham Bell.
Girl #1, laughing hysterically: No, it wasn't! It was Albert Einstein.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: alissarules
Girl: …The only time I was hanging out with girls was when I was cheatin’, ’cause I needed an escape goat.
–R train
Overheard by: Clara
Girl in Mets jersey: My sister put me on anti-anxiety pills and now I'm gonna kill her!
Guy in Mets jersey: Rad! Go Mets!
–59th St & Roosevelt Ave
Overheard by: Stephen's Wife
Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I’m using the Ring, except I don’t know if I’m using it right. I don’t want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn’t have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That’s what I thought. Except, maybe I’m using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn’t find it.
Chick #2: It can’t get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There’s nowhere for it to go! It can’t get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone’s is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there.
–Bleecker Playground
Overheard by: LMF
Tall female: Ohmigod, I can't wait for you to meet this guy!
Short black queen: You know what? You having a vagina isn't all that… My bu-gina is off the charts!
–Carnival Club
Overheard by: Antwon aka
