Girl #1: Oh, so you’re not the Martina who hands out condoms all the time!
Girl #2: It’s nice to meet you, too.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: Oh, so you’re not the Martina who hands out condoms all the time!
Girl #2: It’s nice to meet you, too.
–Columbia University
Artsy girl #1: I think it would be fun to make out with Adam. You know, just to touch his chest a bit.
Artsy girl #2: But I thought you said that you think Adam is fat.
Artsy girl #1: He is fat.
Artsy girl #2: He is not fat.
Artsy girl #1: Okay… He’s not really fat, but he’s always been well-fed!
–Manhattan-bound L train
Girl #1: I didn't know Ella Fitzgerald was such a ghetto bitch!
Girl #2: Oh, she was.
–Times Square
50-something actress: I'm one of the founding sluts.
–Chelsea Studios
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
Guy on cell: That's what I said: I fucked him, but I'm not attracted to him.
–81st & Columbus
Overheard by: Flooey
Adorable seven-year-old kid on bike: She liked it. Ashley liked it. Ashley's a whore.
–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nathalie & Noah
Girl on cell: Well, I'm in a different place now. Now I'm a slut.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Teenage girl on cell, beaming, as if she just had a revelation: Oh, I forgot you're a whore! (yelling triumphantly) You're a whore!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Emilia
Hobo, eating a chicken kebab: I want me some pussy. I don’t care where it’s from. I just really want me some pussy to fuck. I wanna make her pussy go (sticks tongue out of mouth) pfffffffff.
Girl on street: Alright. That’s enough.
–W 4th & Broadway
Overheard by: KTandSheila
Loud chick to male companion: And she sings when she orgasms! Like, "a-a-a-a-aaaah!" and "e-e-e-e-eeeeeee!"
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Man outside Starbucks: Dude! I gave Sharon an orgasm over the phone last night. (laughs)
–Starbucks, 14th St
Overheard by: Elizabel
Subway musician: Y'all better be good 'cause Santa Claus only comes once a year. But that's between him and Mrs. Claus.
–W 4th St Subway Platform
Young man on cell: It looks like a 42-inch orgasm.
–Posman Books, Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: ant
Hot chick to another: You're like the Mother Teresa of orgasms!
–1020 Bar, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chuck Bass
Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Ryan
Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.
–Chelsea Theater
Overheard by: Kyle
Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.
—Macbeth Performance, Battery Park
Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You
–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park
Overheard by: digamma
Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.
—Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre
Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!
–Richard Rodgers Theatre
Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: John Galt Jr.
Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: nova scotia
Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.
–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Amber Star
White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: mela
Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Scientific
Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!
–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge
Girl #1: I think they have a lot of craft beers here.
Girl #2: Yeah, too bad I only drink champagne.
–Croxley Ale House
Overheard by: Joey Breakfast
Drunk girl: I want to do a cartwheel!
Sober girl: No. No, no, no.
Drunk girl: But I’m so good at them — and handstands! I can do mad-good handstands. Watch! Watch me! [Puts her hands on the ground.]Sober girl: I said no!
–E 10th & Ave A
Overheard by: simon says
