Girl, handing boy an iPhone with sleeping screen: Look at this.
Boy #1, tapping all over screen: How do you get this to work?
Girl: Press the button. (boy continues tapping screen) The round button. Press it. (boy continues tapping all over screen) The only button! (boy continues tapping all over screen everywhere except the button)
Boy #2: Wow, dude, you must be awesome with vaginas.
–Mooncakes Foods, Watts & 6th Ave
Man on bike to group of girls on bench: I touch myself at night!
Girls: (applaud)
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Sunny
Infuriated hippie girl: Dad, where did mom put my yoga mat?!
Dad: I… I don't know.
Infuriated hippie girl: She moved the one that I like!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Celeste
Guy: I mean, we're on an island, too.
Girl: Seriously?
–1 Train
Girl to guy she's been talking to for last half hour: Half the time I'm talking to you I wanna slap you.
Guy: Then why do you talk to me?
–St. John's University
Teen girl: Have you ever been to Long Island?
Tourist man: No, but I've been to the other five boroughs.
–Penn Station
Girl on date: My mother had an abortion when I was 11.
Boy on date: That must be because your parents realized they could never produce anything as beautiful as you again.
–Awash Ethiopian Restaurant, 106th St & Amsterdam
Flamboyantly gay guy: So, did you decide whom you like better?
Girl: No. They're both so smart and funny and nice. I mean, you met Jim*, right? What did you think? He's cool, right?
Flamboyantly gay guy: He's definitely cool.
Girl, sighing: But so is Tom*! I don't know. But I do have to choose 'cause Tom is putting pressure on me.
Flamboyantly gay guy: Just answer this one question and you'll have the matter settled–whose dick is better?
Girl, shocked at first, but then earnestly: Oh, well… I've only seen Jim's.
Flamboyantly gay guy: You slept with Jim already?! Slut!
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Guy to friend: Remember that chick I told you about who told me that I could smell her cum?
–City Hall New York Sports Club
Latina girl on cell: Didn't Nick get you that phone? (pause) No, not really… (pause) Cause I'm spoiled. (pause) That's not true, I spoil you, boy… I got you that perfume. It smells real nice, actually not that nice. It smells like granny… It smells like abuelita!
–Union Square
Teeny Asian lady on cell, screaming at the top of her lungs: Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it! Sniff it!
–23rd St
Overheard by: Ladle
20-something hipster girl to friend, after running to catch the subway: I think this is the r… It smells like the r.
–R Train
20-something girl to friend: You smell good, but I smell better.
–Bond St
